The Cradle Will Rock II
Chapter 1

brian

Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Pairing: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor
Genres: Angst, AU, POV, Drama, Romance, Sequel
Warnings: OOC Brian/Other, Justin/Other
Summary: Brian and Justin still work for the FBI and are settled in their relationship but Justin's past creeps into their present. This sequel follows on directly from The Cradle Will Rock. Original Plot Bunny by Gina.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer as Folk are properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and others. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is rated by the author and not by any independent body.

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Michael smiled as he opened his eyes. The heat radiating from his lover’s body encouraged him to move closer. Any time Brian was lying stretched out beside him was his favorite time of the day. When he woke in the mornings, he would watch Brian sleep and when his beautiful lover finally stirred; they would make love until it was time for Michael to go to the store. Being with Brian had always been his dream and now it was a reality.

It all started when they were fourteen and Brian would climb in through Michael’s bedroom window in the middle of the night. He was always so badly hurt. Some nights his physical injuries were worse than others but he was always needed to be held and stroked and touched. Michael would tend to his wounds then gather Brian into his arms in the darkness, holding him while he wept.

Neither boy understood why Jack Kinney beat his son so badly. When he was young, Brian tried hard to please his father but his efforts were never enough. As he got older, Brian just took the beatings as normal. More and more as the years passed, he developed a ‘fuck off, I don’t care’ persona which irritated his father even more. The beatings became more severe and Michael wondered why Brian went out of his way to annoy his dad. Displays of independence were guaranteed to set Jack off but Brian didn’t care. He was as cocky and arrogant as possible. It became a battle of wills with Jack determined to break his son and Brian just as determined he wouldn’t.

Michael didn’t have a father but he was sure if his dad had come back from the war, his mother would never have let his dad to hurt him that way. Even though he screwed up all the time, his mother would yell at him but never beat him like Brian’s father did.

As if Brian’s dad wasn’t enough of a problem for him, Brian’s mother was a strange woman too. His mother was happy and warm but Joan Kinney was aloof, choosing always to be very prim and proper. Michael shuddered when he thought about Mrs. Kinney. Cold was probably the best way to describe her. She never hugged and kissed Brian the way his mom regularly attacked him. Michael constantly complained about being bombarded with affection but seeing Brian’s parents made him secretly like his mother’s brash, open and very loving style. By the end of the second year, Debbie Novotny was so used to having Brian at their house, she regarded him as her adopted son, treating him as if he was her own. He was always at their house anyway. His mom said it often enough. “No kid should have to live that way”. Brian needed some normalcy in his life. Debbie encouraged him to be a part of her family as much as she could. Brian was a good kid, a bit cocky but really sweet inside.

Brian complained when Debbie started hugging him the way she hugged Michael but after a while Michael suspected Brian actually enjoyed it.

Their mothers went to the same church. His Mom only went on Sundays whereas Brian’s mother was a daily visitor to the old stone church in their parish.

His Mom said Mrs. Kinney had a plum shoved up her ass and people like her were more interested in being guiding light Christians to others rather than staying home and protecting her son from the animal she married. It was less invasive to help others onto the right path that to deal with her own problems. Debbie Novotny never minced words, openly stating the Kinney’s should wake up to themselves and that they didn’t deserve a good kid like Brian.

Brian was allowed to stay at his house whenever he wanted. It was as if Joan was happy when Brian wasn’t at home. Her loss, Michael thought. He enjoyed the time they spent together. Sometimes he was forced to include his Mom but Michael tried to always keep Brian for himself. If it was just cuts and bruises he could manage but a few times when Mr. Kinney broke Brian’s arms or his leg, Michael needed his Mom’s help to take Brian to the hospital.

When they returned home, Michael would hold Brian while he cried, kissing his forehead, assuring him he would always be there. Brian was always so brave until the lights went out but Michael could always feel the tears in the darkness as they fell onto his skin.

Michael smiled. Brian was his now and it had been worth all the waiting. He was the happiest he had ever been.

Dr. Christian Sizemore watched through the observation window. Michael wasn’t getting better, he was getting worse. It had been six months and the assessment was in three days. There was no doubt in his mind, with no progress, Michael’s assessments would be would stretched to an annual basis. The largest obstacle to his recovery was Michael’s delusion that he and Brian were together. He seemed to be able to drift away into his fantasy world and Michael refused to even listen that his perfect relationship was anything but real. Michael always insisted they were a devoted couple.

Although he’d tried to get Agent Kinney to visit his patient, he always refused. After what happened, Christian could understand the man’s reluctance to get involved but until Michael heard it from Brian himself, he would continue to live in his fantasy world. Even if Michael heard it from Brian’s lips, he may continue to retreat deeper into his fantasy and be lost forever. After trying everything to reach Michael, Dr Sizemore decided bringing Brian and Michael face to face was an acceptable risk. There was no other choice.

********


As Justin opened his eyes, he nestled into the warmth of Brian’s body. Regardless of the outside temperature and his lover’s penchant for keeping their apartment cool, Brian was always warm. It had been snowing the last few days and it was getting more and more difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. With the weather like this, Justin wished they could hibernate like bears did for the winter. Curling up with Brian for a few months would be wonderful.

He glanced at the clock on the night stand. They needed to get up and go to the office. It was always tempting to stay in bed when the weather was cold but he’d fought hard for his agent’s status and if that meant getting up and going to the office in a blizzard then he’d have no choice. Justin had only become official two weeks ago. It had been a long haul getting there. The Captain had wanted to keep him the best kept secret in their department. It wasn’t the glory Justin craved. He was happy for his talents to remain confidential but was sick of being cooped up in the loft all day. He wanted to be free to move around by himself and part of that was going to work in the mornings. Two weeks ago and after much begging, the Captain officially acknowledged him to the rest of the department. It was interesting developing a working relationship with the other people in their group. Justin loved people. Being tucked away for so long in the sanitarium was very lonely. If he’d been crazy, he probably wouldn’t have missed the human contact so much. Justin liked helping. He loved his new job and was eager to work on hot cases and not just unsolved ones. It would be a challenge but Justin wanted to be accepted as a profiler and he wasn’t about to fuck it up by not being serious enough. Intuition was an important part of profiling. He hoped his visions would be interpreted as astute hunches. Only Brian, Ben and the Captain knew his skills included any more. He needed to keep his wits about him but he knew he could pull it off.

“Brian,” Justin whispered into his lover’s ear.

“Mmmm,” Brian stirred.

“We have a staff meeting at the office this morning.”

“Mmmm,” Brian rolled onto his back and pulled Justin on top of him. “Not yet,” he nestled his face into Justin’s hair.

Justin wriggled against his partner’s body and rested his elbows over Brian’s shoulders. “We need to shower.”

“We need to fuck,” Brian moaned and pulled Justin’s lips against his. He devoured Justin for a few minutes before pulling back to catch his breath.

Justin could feel Brian’s hard cock pressed against his own. It felt good. It always felt good with Brian but they didn’t have time this morning. “We need to be out of here in fifteen minutes. The traffic will be bad at this time and we can’t be late, Brian.” Brian’s tendency to come and go as he pleased was accepted because of his seniority. Justin couldn’t afford that luxury. He was new and he didn’t want to fuck up and not appear conscientious by always being late.

Brian persisted and ground their cocks together until neither man could take it anymore. He rolled them both over, ignoring Justin’s complaints about not wanting to be late. He couldn’t be expected to go to work like this. He wouldn’t be able to get his pants over a hard on this size.

Justin was about to give in when they were interrupted by Ben as he called out from the living room. “Are you two ready, we’ve gotta go.”

Brian opened his eyes and frowned. He had to remember to get the key back from Ben. This was the third time this week he’d barged in and ruined his morning. He begrudgingly went into the shower to jerk off.

Ben knocked on the door and opened it slowly. “Jus?”

Justin sat up. “We’re awake,” he called back as he laughed to himself. “We won’t be long, five minutes tops.” He bounded out of bed, no time for a shower this morning. He didn’t want to be late. As he jumped into his pants and ran to get some socks, he banged on the bathroom door. “Hurry, Brian.”

Brian opened his eyes, his dick still in his hand. Fuck, what was this compulsion Justin had with being early? It was driving him crazy. He and Ben never went to case meetings. The whole office was talking about their sudden appearance in the morning cattle call. It had taken him three years to be excused from them. He and Ben were senior agents. They weren’t interested in what everyone else was doing. Attending the meetings made them look like they’d been demoted. Fuck this; he was going back to bed. He’d worked until three this morning on a stake out, fucked Justin till four. It was only eight now, he needed sleep.

Brian flung the bathroom door open and walked naked to his bed.

Ben laughed. “Morning, Brian.”

“What’s good about it?” A visibly annoyed Brian growled as he climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over his head. He wondered what Ben was taking these days. He was always so fucking cheerful, ughhhhh.

Justin was about to object when Ben’s voice echoed in his head.

“Just leave him; he’s tired from the stakeout last night. I’ll take you in.”

Justin smiled and pulled on his shoes. Brian was being a real ass lately. When they were working at the loft, everything was fine but as soon as Justin started going to the office, Brian had been objectionable and grouchy. It was still wonderful between them at home but when it came to work, Brian was being a pig.

Ben decided to wait in the living room. Brian was in a mood and he didn’t want to be around for the explosion if Justin tried to rouse to him before they left.

Justin came running out a few minutes later. “Ready,” he smiled. “Will we make it?”

Ben grinned. “We'll use the siren.” It wasn’t often he got to use it. He was always low profile lately.

Justin laughed as they went to the garage. Ben was a big kid with that siren. Any excuse was good enough to use it. All the years he and Michael were together, Ben hadn’t used one. Michael was always such a snoop and Ben was afraid he would find it and demand an explanation. Now he was living with Tom, it didn’t matter. Tom knew what it was. He had one in his car too. Ben loved to use his whenever the opportunity presented. As Justin climbed into the car, he smiled at Ben. “Thanks for taking me. I don’t know what’s wrong with Brian lately.”

“Is that a real question or a rhetorical remark,” Ben frowned. It wasn’t fair Justin didn’t know what was going on. Rumors were flying thick and fast lately. Ben knew exactly what was wrong with Brian. Part of it was what everyone was thinking and the rest was……..

“A real question,” Justin interrupted Ben’s thoughts. “When we are alone, he’s wonderful but when we go to work….,” his voice faded away.

“Brian and I don’t need to go to morning meetings. We haven’t had to for a long time now. I don’t mind but Brian feels funny going to them.”

“Funny?”

“There is a host of gossip about why we are suddenly there. The most popular rumor is we did something and were unofficially demoted,” Ben sighed.

“What?” Justin gasped. “Demoted? You don’t need to be there?”

Ben frowned then shook his head.

No wonder Brian was in such a foul mood lately. Getting him to those meetings was like Justin imagined pulling Brian’s teeth out with pliers would be like. Now he understood why Brian was so disagreeable. He wondered why Brian hadn’t said anything to him about it.

Ben could see Justin’s surprise. “He really hadn’t said anything, had he?”

Justin shrugged then shook his head. “I don’t understand him sometimes, Ben.”

“It’s a big club, membership numbers are high. Brian is a very complicated person. He’s worked really hard to be where he is at the Agency. You and Brian are on different levels. You’re just starting out and want to know about everything. I understand that, Justin,” Ben smiled. “Do you want my humble opinion?”

Justin nodded.

“You and Brian are not joined at the hip because you are in a relationship. You need to make your own way and leave him to make his.”

Justin thought for a while. Ben was right. “I want to learn to drive,” Justin smiled. “I want a car of my own so I don’t have to drag you to meetings you don’t need to attend.”

“I don’t mind, Jus but I agree. Learning to drive will make you feel more independent. It will be a good start for you. Do you want me to teach you?”

“Do you mind?” Justin asked. He and Ben had beome very close since Michael had injured them both. It was a bond they shared. It started when he had warned Ben and saved his life when Ben was saving Jenny and had been cemented by Michael trying to kill both of them that night. Ben was the big brother Justin wished he'd always had.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I did,” Ben laughed. “We’ll go get you a permit later.”

Justin was excited. If he could drive, he could have his own car. A car of his own, he couldn’t wait.

********


Brian was barely back in bed a few minutes after Justin and Ben left when he felt like a heel. Once he was awake, it was impossible for him to go back to sleep. What was he thinking? Trying to go back to sleep was never an option. He’d always been the same, a poor sleeper. In fact, since he’d been with Justin was really the first time in his life where he could sleep through the night. Brian felt safe to sleep when Justin was alongside him. If anything was about to go wrong, Justin would warn him. His poor sleeping habits were a legacy of being Jack Kinney’s son. His father always chose the early hours of the morning to beat him senseless when he was a kid. Jack would come home drunk, drag him out of bed and beat the crap out of him. Broken sleep was a fact of life in the Kinney house. Old habits were hard to break, Brian sighed.

He knew Justin was excited with his new agent status and he was trying to be supportive but the whispers in the office were getting him down. Brian had worked hard over the years and his reputation was being ruined. They were being discreet about their relationship. The office wasn’t the place to disclose he and Justin were involved. Sure, a few people knew, Graham, the Captain, Tom and Ben but it was nobody else’s fucking business who he spent his nights with. Besides, if it was common knowledge they were involved, Justin wouldn’t receive the acknowledgment he deserved. That wouldn’t be fair to Justin. He’d worked hard and his successes should be his own.

Over the past six months they had worked up most of the old files the Captain had allocated to them. Working with Justin made everything move so quickly. He saved them hours of leg work. The visions weren’t always fast coming but once they did, a case could be wrapped up in a matter of days.

Now Ben was living with Tom, he was the obvious choice to join their team. Tom knew Justin and although he wasn’t conversant with all of Justin’s skills, he saw enough in the time they all spent together to be taken into their inner circle. Tom had been good for Ben. It was obvious he was smitten with him and why wouldn’t he be. Ben was gorgeous on the outside and underneath his good looks was a kind and very loving man.

Brian frowned when he though what an idiot Michael was. How could he have hurt Ben that way on a pipe dream? He’d loved Michael like a brother but Michael’s craziness had almost cost him his best friend and the man he loved. Hurting Ben was senseless and cruel but hurting Justin was inexcusable.

As if on queue, his cell rang. Brian grabbed it hoping it was Justin. He’d been an ass this morning and he knew it.

“Hey,” Brian smiled as he answered the phone.

“Agent Kinney?”

“Yes.” Brian’s tone became more serious.

“Agent Kinney, this is Dr Sizemore, Michael’s doctor.”

Brian felt a chill. He’d tried to put Michal out of his head. Thinking about him was just too painful. “Yes,” he said coldly.

“Agent Kinney, I really need your help.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t,” Brian started.

Dr. Sizemore interrupted. “You have made your feelings clear and I understand your reluctance to get involved further but Michael is due for reassessment in a few days and I’m concerned he will end up being confined indefinitely.”

“He should be,” Brian snapped. “He shot two people.”

“He can’t begin to pay for his crimes until he first comes to terms with reality. Michael is living in a fantasy world where the two of you are a happy devoted couple.”

Brian didn’t speak. What did this guy think he could do about that?

“Agent Kinney? Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Brian said coldly again.

The doctor hesitated. “I really need your help,” he sighed. “I don’t want to lay a guilt trip on you but you are the only one who may be able to make him see reason. I’ve exhausted ever other possibility. If you don’t help me, Michael will end up incarcerated for the rest of his life.”

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. His head was pounding now. The mention of Michael’s name usually gave him a headache but this time it was worse. If he didn’t help then Michael would be locked away for the rest of his days. Even though Michael had been there for him when he was young, the minute he tried to hurt Justin, the slate was swept clean. If he did help, it wouldn’t be for Michael. He owed it to Debbie. She was always there when he needed her. “What do you want me to do?”

“See him, talk to him……tell him you aren’t together.”

“What makes you think it will do any good?” Brian squinted.

“It’s our last chance to make him see reason. If he accepts the two of you aren’t together, I can push for another assessment in six months. Accepting the truth, his treatment can commence. We’re getting nowhere with him now. If he can’t be jolted out of his delusion, I can’t honestly ask for reassessment in less than a year,” Dr. Sizemore sighed. He was desperate. He’d tried everything to reach Michael. As long as Michael clung to the belief that he and Brian were happy, there was no way to get through to him. Michael may reject Brian and choose to stay in his fantasy but just maybe, coming face to face with Brian and hearing Brian tell him it wasn’t real, would jolt Michael out of his pretend world. “There are no guarantees, Agent Kinney but it can’t get any worse for Michael than living in denial. He can’t move on, he can’t accept help. He’s stuck in a world of make believe.”

“I can’t be involved in his on-going treatment,” Brian said quickly. “This is very difficult for me. I can only see him once.” Michael was a part of his past Brian wanted to forget.

“That’s all I’m asking.”

“When?”

“Could we do it today?” Dr Sizemore said, hopefully.

Brian looked at the clock on the night stand. “I’ll be there in an hour.” Brian closed his cell. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Fuck.

********


Ben didn’t attend the meeting. He had a ton of paperwork from the stakeout last night, disappearing into his office to get started as soon as they arrived.

Tom was coming home today and Ben was excited to see his partner again. It had only been a week but it felt a lot longer. They had been inseparable since they met and this was the first time they had been apart. Tom had been called back to Washington last week to revisit an old case.

Carlo Parotti was being released last week and Tom had been instrumental in the case to put him away. He was a prominent underworld figure. Usually people so high up on that food chain were out of their reach. Only caught on a technicality, they were grateful to get him for anything ay all. Now he’d served his time, the Brass were hoping he would get careless and perhaps some of his other crimes would see the light of day. Parotti was smart and angry, angry with Tom who had headed the investigation against him. Tom was fearless, ignoring Parotti’s threats. Tom wasn’t concerned. At least he’d been away for nineteen months, Tom used to say. At his sentencing, Parotti had apparently smiled at Tom saying “I look forward to seeing you when I’m free again,” as he grinned. Tom wasn’t worried, insisting he could take care of himself, but Ben was. There was a small matter of Tom killing Parotti’s son. Tom was acting in self defense but Ben was sure Parotti didn’t see it that way.

Since Tom had been in his life, he felt alive again. Ben didn’t want to ever feel the pain he’d felt when his relationship with Michael was over. He loved Tom and he wanted them to be together for a long time. When he finally accepted Michael was insane, the feeling of loss was indescribable. Ben mourned the happy times; the loss of the family he thought was his and was pained by the knowledge that so much of his life had been a lie. Michael was only with him because he couldn’t have Brian. It took a while to accept but once he had, he began his life all over again.

His life with Tom meant everything to him and he would go to any lengths to protect it. He dialed Tom’s cell, needing to hear his lover’s voice. Tom was due back soon and Ben wondered what time he’d be getting in. It went to voice mail and he left a message.

********


The meeting went well. Justin looked at the files in front of him. He had a ton of work to do. Writing the profiles was easy. He was still assigned to Brian’s unit but there were so many other outside cases he wanted to be involved in. When he read the case file, he’d get a picture in his head of the perpetrator. It was easy to describe him to the agent in charge. In the two weeks he’d been doing profiles, their closure rate was through the roof. He couldn’t get as involved with each case as he would have liked but his profile made it easy for the other agents to do their work.

He wondered if Ben would take him to get his license before lunch. It was exciting. He’d been too young to have driving lessons when his parents committed him so he felt like a teenager again. Driving would be so cool. He was already thinking what sort of car to get when he felt the cold creep through his body making the color drain out of his face. “Oh god,” he gasped.

Ben smiled and knocked on Justin’s door. He walked in without waiting for an answer. “Do you have time to go get your permit now?”

Justin was shaking as he stared into space.

Ben sat down and waited for Justin to come out of it. He was used to Justin’s visions and knew they took a lot out of him. Over the first few months, he thought he would never get used to the fear on Justin’s face when he was having an episode. Brian had freaked the first few times too but now they were both used to Justin’s reactions.

Justin looked up at Ben with tears streaming down his face. How could he tell Ben? He’d been through so much already. “I want to go home,” he said softly.

Ben was puzzled at Justin’s behavior. He usually came out of it, reached for his sketch pad and drew for hours. “I’ll take you,” he offered. “Are we still stopping to get your license or are we going straight to the loft?”

Justin slipped his hand into Ben’s, holding his friend’s hand tightly as he avoided answering. They walked to the car without a word. Before climbing in, Justin looked at Ben and paused. “Wait.”

********


Brian stood shaking his head. Looking at Michael through the observation window, Michael was crazier than a shithouse rat. Michael was talking to him as if he was in the room with him. Brian glanced at the doctor. He knew Michael was bad but he wasn’t prepared for this. Watching the scene Michael was playing reminded him of when they were young and he would crawl in Michael’s window after his father had beaten him. “That happened twenty years ago,” Brian gasped.

“Sometimes he’s in the present but I think the present time is difficult for Michael to maintain so he reverts to an easier, more comfortable time frame.”

Brian nodded.

“Michael starts the day in the present when you wake up together but as the day goes on, he reverts deeper and deeper into the past and into his youth.”

“Shouldn’t I see him in the morning then?” Brian replied, his eyes fixed on Michael who was pretending to tend to his wounds.

Dr Sizemore shook his head. He could see Brian hesitation. It was obvious he wasn’t keen on getting involved. “As soon as possible is preferable, I’ll be in the room with you,” he said reassuringly.

If it hadn’t been for Debbie, Brian would have turned and run. He’d stuffed his feelings for Michael deep inside him, reluctant to deal with the situation. He would always love Michael on some level but he was in love with Justin and Brian couldn’t forgive Michael for the things he’d done. Sick or well, Michael had betrayed him and the fact that Justin had nearly died in the process was something Brian couldn’t forget or forgive. He nodded, unsure of what to say.

Dr Sizemore was hopeful Brian’s presence would jolt Michael back to reality. He opened the door to Michael’s room.

********


“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“We need to go to Washington.”

Ben stopped. Fuck. Justin was pale and sweat was beading on his forehead. Ben’s cell rang and his heart stopped. “Agent Bruckner,” he answered abruptly then listened for a few moments. “Okay.” He closed his cell and stared at Justin. “Is he dead?”

Justin looked up at Ben with tears in his eyes. “We need to go Ben, I’m not sure. We need to get there.”

They jumped in the car and drove to the airport.

********


Michael looked up and smiled. “Brian, you’re back early.” He moved towards his lover to kiss him.

Brian froze for a moment as Michael came closer. He put his hand up to stop him. “We need to talk.” Michael was looking at him as if nothing had happened. “Don’t come any closer.”

Michael frowned. “What’s wrong?” He asked, confused.

Dr Sizemore interrupted. “Why don’t we sit down and talk,” he smiled.

Michael frowned again. What was wrong with Brian? He glared at the doctor as Brian sat down as far away from him as possible. What had he been saying to Brian? He was fine this morning. Michael looked at his lover and sat down. “I wondered where you got to,” he smiled. “You’re usually here when I get back from the store.”

“Michael,” Brian said abruptly. “I’m not normally here. This is the first time I’ve seen you in six months.”

Michael frowned. “Nonsense, you are always here. That isn’t funny.” He smiled and reached to touch Brian’s face.

Brian lurched back in his chair to keep out of Michael’s reach. “I didn’t mean it to be funny,” Brian growled. “What you’re doing is ridiculous. We aren’t together. We could never be together. I love Justin.”

The confused look on Michael’s face changed and his eyes narrowed. “That isn’t true.”

“It is true.”

“No, we are together now. We’ve been together for a long time now. Justin is gone.”

“None of it is real, Michael. I love Justin. I would never be with you.” Brian didn’t want to be cruel but Michael needed to understand it wasn’t going to happen for them, ever. The very idea of being with Michael made his skin crawl. Brian tried to remain calm. “You need to face reality, Michael. Your mother is worried about you. You need to let the doctor help you.”

Michael jumped to his feet. “Help me?” He gasped and spun around as he glared at the doctor. “What have you been saying to him?”

“Michael, I asked Brian to come and see you.”

“See me? He’s with me all the time,” Michael shrieked. He looked at Brian again. “Brian, don’t listen to him. He’s trying to break us up. Can’t you see what he’s doing? He’s already turned Ma against me.”

“Michael, we aren’t together," Brian growled. "It’s all in your head.”

“But you love me.” Michael moved towards Brian again.

Dr Sizemore stood up to restrain his patient but Michael pushed him aside.

“Brian, I love you.” Michael continued around the table towards Brian.

“Don’t come any closer,” Brian warned.

Michael’s face softened as he looked at his lover. “Baby, what’s the matter? We love each other.”

“I don’t love you, Michael and what’s this ‘baby’ shit,” Brian roared. “You need to get a grip on reality Michael. I love Justin. I will only ever love Justin.”

“Why are you talking about him after all this time? Are you trying to hurt me? Is that what you’re trying to do? Why Brian? We’ve been so happy. What has he said to you to turn you against me?” Michael demanded.

“You turned me against you when you shot Ben,” Brian yelled. “How could you, he loved you.”

“I don’t love, Ben. I never loved Ben. I love you. It’s always been you.” Michael kept edging closer. “We belong together. Why are you talking about this? We put that behind us.”

“No, you are living in a pretend world with your pretend Brian but it isn’t me. It will never be me,” Brian growled. “And it will never be real. I don’t love you. I don’t feel anything for you anymore. You are nothing in my life,” Brian shouted. All the resentment he’d buried deep inside him came bubbling to the surface.

“Don’t say that,” Michael shrieked. “You don’t mean it. We are happy and we’re in love. Nothing can change that. I hold you in my arms every night.”

“I don’t know what you’re holding but it isn’t me. It will never be me. I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m out of here.” Brian stood up to leave and Michael lunged at him. As if on automatic, Brian spun him around and dragged his arm up his back, pushing his body face down on the table.

Dr Sizemore jumped to his feet. “Brian, calm down.”

Brian shook Michael, pushing him away and onto the floor. “I’m out of here. Don’t call me again. I never want to see him again.” He turned and glared at the doctor. “I don’t care what happens to him. I mean it, don’t call me again.” Brian stormed from the room.

Michael sat on the floor staring as Brian left the room and the doctor followed him. He wasn’t sure what just happened. They’d been so happy together the last few months. It was the way it was always supposed to be between them. He stood up slowly as his confusion turned to anger. Why couldn’t everyone just leave them alone?

Brian ignored the doctor’s pleas for him to stop. Seeing Michael again was bad enough but the fury he’d felt bubble to the surface had scared him. When they were young, they had been so close. Now, all Brian felt was resentment. If he hadn’t left when he did, he would have hurt Michael. He warned him. He’d told him to stay away but Michael kept coming. When Michael touched him, he lost it. He couldn’t go back there again, even for Debbie. He sat in the car and lit a cigarette. Brian was surprised how shaken he was. Each puff, he drew the smoke deep into his lungs, holding it there before breathing it out slowly. As he stubbed out the butt, Brian turned the key and started the engine.

He wanted Justin. He needed to see Justin.