Relinquishing Control
Chapter One
Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Pairing: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor
Genres: AU, Romance
Warnings: OOC
Summary:Brian and Justin meet for the first time at a resort hotel that caters to its patrons fantasies. Plot Bunny and title by Theresa.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer as Folk are properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and others. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is rated by the author and not by any independent body.
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Daphne lay curled up on the sofa. She liked the new wall paint color. Justin was right, it was great. She had been skeptical at first but bowed to his superior knowledge of color. She didn’t know why he even asked her. He knew she had no clue. When it came to knowing what was what and where it should go, she was lost. She couldn’t even find the laundry basket. Those things didn’t occur to her. Her knowledge of home making was up in the trees with the apes. Moving in with Justin had been her salvation. If it wasn’t for him, she would live in a dump with linoleum and newspaper curtains.
“I’m fine Mom, how’s Molly?” Justin smiled when he thought of his sister. It was her birthday in two weeks and he wasn’t sure what to send her.
“She’s fine Jus; we’re having a party on the Saturday. She’s very excited. I don’t suppose you would……”
Justin interrupted her. “I can’t Mom.”
“Honey, it was a long time ago. Can’t you both put aside your differences for her sake? You don’t turn eighteen every day Jus. I know she wants you to come,” his mother pleaded.
“I’ve made my peace with it, Mom. I don’t care if he can’t stand that I’m gay,” Justin explained. “Molly will be coming to visit me in the fall before college starts and we’ll spend tons of time together. I know she understands how I feel about coming back.”
“Okay, honey. You do what you think is right for you,” Jennifer sighed.
Justin laughed. “I do Mom, that’s why I’m so happy these days. I’ll talk to you next week. I love you Mom.”
“I love you too honey.”
Justin closed his cell and sighed.
Daphne listened to his conversation from the couch. “She wanted you to come back, didn’t she?”
“You heard what I said to her Daph. I don’t want to go down that road. It took me a load of therapy to come to terms with the way he feels and I won’t put myself through it again. I like who I am. I’m even grateful he kicked me out. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t be who I am today. As an afterthought he added. “Of course I wished he hadn’t done it on the night of the Prom,” Justin laughed. “I almost got frost bite.”
Daphne laughed too when she remembered that night, it was fucking freezing and Justin had spent the night on her porch. Justin had been devastated. His father and he had always been so close. Shame he turned out to be such a homophobic asshole.
“I’m glad you still find it so amusing,” Justin sighed then smiled.
Daphne stood up and walked towards him. She wound her arms around his neck and hugged him. “What are you cooking for dinner?” she smiled.
Justin loved to cook. He was always doing some cookery course and she was thankful he looked after her. She was 26 and still couldn’t even boil water and what’s more had no desire to learn. She didn’t need to. Justin could cook up a storm and loved doing it. He considered food an art, so every meal looked like it came out of a restaurant kitchen. He even started cooking low fat when she began to gain weight. He was her best friend and she loved him.
“I was thinking we could just have Carbonara, that’s quick and then go check out the Wine Club. We’re due to restock and I want to try some of the new chardonnays before I order them. "Are you in?” Justin smiled.
“Oh let me see, it’s a hard choice. Considering I don’t have any clean clothes until I wash, I could do the laundry or drink all night, I’m so torn what will I choose?” she winked.
Justin wriggled out of her grasp. “I should leave you at home for being such a bitch,” he laughed. “Go and shower, while I chop the bacon, dinner will be in twenty minutes. I picked up your dry cleaning and your washing is done and in the draws. Seriously Daph, if I didn’t look after you, what the fuck would you do. You are hopeless.”
“That’s why I love you,” she smiled. She knew that she would never find anyone to take care of her like Justin.
********
The wine club met once a month. Justin loved to attend. Previewing the wines as they were released was one of his passions. Daphne settled in to a night of drinking. She didn’t share Justin’s developed palate. To her they tasted the same but Justin and his friends would discuss the subtle differences for hours. She spotted someone new. Fresh meat she thought then on closer inspection she sighed. She motioned for Justin to come over.
“Who’s that?” she asked. “I haven’t seen him before.”
“That’s Colin Brice. He came to the last meeting too.”
Daphne remembered that she had a date that night and missed last month. “He’s handsome.”
“Don’t even think about it Daph. The last thing I need is a boyfriend who tricks,” Justin shook his head.
“How do you know he tricks?” she asked innocently.
Justin looked at her and smiled.
“Okay, so I’m sorry I didn’t suggest it,” she laughed. She worried about Justin. She didn’t want him to be a nun who had an occasional fuck to ward off going insane, anymore. He had the happily ever after bug and she knew he wouldn’t be happy until he found someone with a dick to take care of. The last few years he was lonely, that’s why he immersed himself in his career that way. It hadn’t been a total waste of time. Even if he didn’t get laid all that often, at least he was successful. She would rather get laid but she wasn’t Justin.
******
KinneyClarke was featured in the latest issue of Entrepreneur. Brian Kinney couldn’t help smiling. All their hard work was finally acknowledged. He and Cynthia had worked almost day and night for the last four years but they finally had arrived. There was no end of potential clients coming through the door. The article listed them as “the most innovated and exciting agency to burst onto the scene in years.” Hopefully all the struggling to pay the rent was over. If they continued to grow at the same rate as they had since they were casually mentioned to watch out for two months ago he would have been happy but now, a feature article was all his dreams come true. His business life was on track and he couldn’t help smiling.
“Are you reading that again?” Cynthia smiled as she walked into his office.
“Of course I am,” Brian smiled. “It’s a dream come true and stop trying to look like you don’t care,” he laughed.
She smiled too. She was just as excited as Brian. They deserved it. No two people could have worked harder. It had been day and night for both of them. The article and its contents made them sought after and that would be a change from pounding the payment, looking for clients. She was looking forward to the free time. She needed a break.
Brian Kinney was about to turn 30. She marveled at how close they were these days. Brian was her best friend and she knew he felt the same about her. That’s what happens when you spend every waking moment together with someone. If he hadn’t been gay, they probably would have been married by now. But he was in fact gay and popularly so. He had a reputation for being a stud. In his youth, he was notorious for his tricking. He had slept with every desirable man in Pittsburgh but in the last few years, she had seen the change in him. Part of it was, he was a workaholic and didn’t have as much time to trick, but there was something else too. She knew he was lonely and wanted something more. He had always been so independent, a rock in storm. Lately though she knew he secretly longed to spend his life with someone, someone he trusted to take care of him. Since she had found Josh and wanted to be with only him, she had seen the change in Brian. He could see how happy she was being with only one person and it started him thinking about what if. Brian enjoyed the quieter the evenings they spent together but his reputation of being a lone wolf was hampering his opportunity to settle down. Maybe now he would have the time to seriously look. It wouldn’t be an easy task to find the perfect partner to share his life. He was such a control freak. He scheduled and organized everything. His entire life was a business meeting. The only two people that ever saw under the façade were her and Lindsay. He trusted them to not judge him if he relaxed and wasn’t so perfect. A softer sweeter Brian had emerged confident they would never betray him and expose that he was in fact an all round good guy and not an asshole.
“Are we still meeting Lindsay for lunch?” she smiled.
“She’s meeting us at the restaurant,” Brian shook his head. “We are being spared the lovely Melanie’s company, she has a meeting. So all around I am still having a great day,” Brian smiled.
Cynthia shook her head. She wondered how Brian could be so sweet with her and Lindsay and turn into the monster from hell when it came to Mel. From the minute Linds and Mel linked up, Brian hated her and it hadn’t mellowed in two years. Of course the feeling was mutual, so it hadn’t been a tragedy. Linds would just shake her head at both of them and laugh. They both got as well as they gave.
“How long before we leave,” she asked.
“If you need to fix your make up, do it now,” he warned. “The reservation is in half an hour and I’m hungry. Please Cyn; can we try to be on time?” Brian sighed.
“It’s only downstairs Brian. I’ll be back in five,” she laughed.
Brian sat down and lit up a cigarette. That meant they would be late, he shook his head. His stomach was rumbling and he needed food. Bloody women, he thought. He thanked his lucky stars that he was gay.
********
Daphne sat of the couch staring at Justin who was sitting on the other couch, staring at the wall. He had been frozen for …., she looked at her watch, it was an hour. She stood up, went over and sat in his lap. Justin took a few seconds to react. He was deep in his thoughts and it took time to register her presence. He looked at her and said calmly. “Yes, did you want something?”
“What’s wrong?”
Justin looked at the concern on her face. He knew she was worried about him but he just couldn’t pull himself out of it. He was lonely, pure and simple. He longed to feel the same warm body next to him day after day, someone that belonged to him that he could take care of and love. He was sick of being alone. Sure there had been men in his life but no one special enough to be forever. Hell, he couldn’t even find anyone special enough to bring home for one night let alone forever. Justin was terrified that he and Daph would be all there was.
He liked being with Daph but when they moved in together, he thought it would be just until he was established in his career. Six and half years later, here he was with all the responsibilities of a relationship and none of the fun.
“Jus?” she asked again, worried when he hadn’t answered.
He was suddenly jolted back to reality by her words. “What?”
“I’m worried about you. If you want to find someone, you have to put yourself out there. You work too much and play too little,” she announced.
Justin slumped back onto the sofa. “I know Daph but I don’t know what else to do. I’m not even sure a relationship is what I want anymore.”
“That’s ridiculous, it’s all you have ever wanted,” she laughed.
“That’s just it. Have I glorified it in my mind so it’s all I can think of? I’m not sure if I could live with someone else anymore,” Justin sounded defeated.
Daphne smiled. “Then let’s find out shall we?”
Justin looked at her and knew the evil look on her face. “What do you mean?” he was afraid to ask but needed to know what she had in mind before it bit him on the ass.
She dragged him over to her computer, pushed him down and sat back on his knee. “When I was surfing the other day, I came across this,” she selected a site from her favorites and smiled as it came up.
Justin looked at a page for a resort. “So?” he asked.
“Read it. I think this could be what you’re looking for.”
Justin read the introduction. His eyes became wider as he continued to read further.
Salingers was located on a small island in the Caribbean. It was a private resort catering to gay men who wanted to vacation. What set it apart from all the others was the intimate nature of its services. Couples and singles could stay but they also had a computer matching service that linked singles together. It was promoted as the place to meet your dream man and they gave you information about the person you would be paired with before you arrived. That way you knew what you were walking into. They fostered a safe environment to test out your fantasies that was consensual and they were known for their discretion. Tricking was not only discouraged, it was not allowed and guests had to agree to the terms before their applications would be considered.
Justin couldn’t help but be impressed at the resorts facilities. It boasted all of the regular trappings but Justin was most impressed by the individual bungalows for the privacy they afforded. He really needed a vacation, it had been three years. A smile burst across his face.