Looking Towards the Future
Chapter One
Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Pairing: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor and Peter Samson
Genres: Angst, AU, Romance
Warnings:Brian/Justin/Other
Summary:This is the sequel to Moving Forward into the Past. Brian, Justin and Pete explore their relationship.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer as Folk are properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and others. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is rated by the author and not by any independent body.
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They agreed to meet at the apartment tomorrow before they played their game.
Pete being around him again was having a strange effect on Brian. He felt younger and more alive than he had in years. It was like when Justin first came into his life. He was just going through the motions until a certain blond twink changed everything and bumped him out of his comfort zone. He had forgotten how wonderful that period with Justin was. He made Brian feel alive again. Justin had transformed him and now Pete coming back into his life, was changing him again.
Brian had tried to quiz both of them about the apartment but neither would tell him squat. They both said they wanted it to be a surprise. Brian was surprised alright, surprised that he was actually excited about something he knew nothing about, something that he had no control over. If Pete said that Justin should have that studio then he knew that whether he liked Pete's help or not, they would need to live there. For someone who had serious trust issues all his life, Brian was amazed how he trusted Pete implicitly.
Dr Hayes left and after a few more drinks and general conversation Pete needed to leave as well. They arranged to meet at the apartment at ten in the morning. Brian walked Pete to the door while Justin tidied up.
Brian leaned on the door frame and smiled. “Thanks Pete. I really appreciate you helping Justin.”
Pete laughed. “I met him before I found you. He’s very talented. I was already interested in his work.”
“I know, Justin told me.”
“Did you talk to Dr. Hayes about us?”
Brian nodded.
“You know we really need to talk,” Pete smiled and touched Brian’s cheek tenderly. “I love you Brian.”
“I know you do. I love both you and Justin; I don’t know what to think.”
“We know that you love us both,” Pete smiled broadly.
“Can we talk tomorrow?”
“How about we enjoy tomorrow? We’ll have our game, get you settled into the apartment, have a nice relaxing dinner and we’ll talk the day after. I’d like to spend some time getting to know you again.”
Brian laughed. He was about to say he had never changed but he had. Dr. Hayes was right. He did have a lot of scripts that he used that didn’t apply to him anymore. “Don’t you have to work?”
“I’d rather spend the time with you. Besides, I will be working. I’m helping Justin get settled,” he smiled. “I’ll see you both at ten. I’ll send my car for you at nine thirty.”
“We can get a cab.”
Pete just looked at him.
“Okay, nine thirty,” Brian smiled.
Pete closed the distance between them and kissed Brian softly on the lips. “Get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Brian smiled. He watched Pete walk away and disappear into the elevator. Brian closed the door, walked over to where Justin was sitting on the sofa and sat down beside him. “Big day,” he smiled. Brian felt nervous. Justin and he needed to talk. He didn’t know where to start.
Justin could see Brian was floundering so he decided to start. “Do you love him?”
Brian hesitated and then nodded. “Are you angry?”
“No,” Justin smiled. “Do you love me any less than you did a week ago?” he screwed up his nose as if the answer may hurt.
Brian pulled him close and kissed him passionately until they were both panting, desperately in need of air.
Justin swallowed hard as he tried to catch his breath. He could see the way Brian felt about him in his eyes. “I need you to say the words Brian.”
“I love you and I am in love with you, every bit as much as the day I asked you to marry me,” Brian smiled.
“But you love Pete too.”
“I wish I could tell you I didn’t, I’m sorry Justin,” Brian said sadly.
Justin hugged him. “As long as you still love me, there is plenty of love inside you for both of us.”
Brian melted into Justin’s arms and sighed.
“There is still something else that we need to talk about,” Justin whispered in Brian’s ear. “Have you fucked him yet?”
Brian froze. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t want to hurt Justin but he couldn’t lie to him. “Do you hate me? It just happened. I’m sorry Justin. You are the last person I ever wanted to hurt.” Brian could feel the tears running down his cheeks.
Justin had known the answer before he even asked the question. He knew that something had happened at the gallery by the state he found Brian in on the corner where they met. Sure he was jealous when he heard Brian say the words but he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt, the second after. He held Brian close while he cried. “Shhhhh,” he tried to soothe his lover. “It’s okay Brian.” He and Brian had always slept with other men. That had never changed the way they felt about each other. He remembered when he and Brian reconciled after Ethan and Brian always saw tricks. He never felt threatened by them. Pete wasn’t a trick, though. Brian loved Pete the same way he loved him. He wasn’t sure how he felt but he knew Brian was distressed and needed his support. It would be so easy to demand that Brian never see him again but Justin knew that was bullshit. Brian hadn’t gone out and fallen in love with someone else. He loved Pete first and through no fault of his own, Brian was robbed of that love for so many years. Even though Brian was tortured with guilt about hurting him, Justin could sense a peacefulness that Brian never had before. Pete loved him all those years ago and he still loved him. Justin knew that Brian could feel his love but Pete had given him the knowledge that he was always loved and Brian needed that. How could he take that away from him?
********
Pete smiled as he bent down to kiss a sleeping Valerie. She looked like Marie when she slept. He re-adjusted her covers, turned off her lamp and closed her door. He kicked off his shoes and padded to the kitchen. He was hungry.
He tried to not make too much noise but realized he was unsuccessful when Mrs. Thomas appeared in the gown and slippers. “What can I get you Mr. Samson?”
“I’m sorry Mrs. Thomas, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Pete apologized.
She shook her head at him. “I bet you haven’t eaten anything.”
“I had some lunch at the gallery.”
“Lunch,” she shrieked as she looked at her watch. “It’s eleven thirty. Go and change and by the time you come back, I’ll have something ready for you,” she patted his hand. “Eleven thirty indeed.”
Pete smiled and did as he was told. Mrs. Thomas had been with them for years and was part of the family. She raised Valerie from a baby and was invaluable during Marie’s illness. She was as caring as any grandmother to both of them. Pete stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. The water felt great but he was sorry to lose the smell of Brian on his skin. He wondered what was happening back at Brian’s hotel, knowing that Brian would tell Justin tonight about the time they had spent together earlier in the day. Pete hoped that Justin would not react hastily to the situation but wasn’t sure what Justin would do.
Justin had been more than reasonable about Brian’s feelings for him when they had spoken about it, he thought. The introduction of a sexual dynamic would probably complicate that. Pete was concerned how Justin’s reaction would affect Brian. He seemed fragile and Pete was worried. Justin was young and when you’re young things are usually black or white. Life has a funny way of forcing people to see gray as they became older. Pete laughed silently. Hell, most of life’s decisions were made using the ‘gray meter’.
The time he spent making love with Brian earlier, was incredible. He had almost forgotten how wonderful things always were between them. Maybe not forgotten but certainly he'd tucked the memories away in the deep recesses of his mind. He used to think about Brian all the time during the early years. He thought he was carving out their future, marking the time constructively till Brian was older and they could be together again. But after his monumental assessment blunder at Brian’s graduation; he tried not to think about Brian anymore. Pete remembered the pain he felt when he thought Brian had moved on without him. He winced as the memories flooded back.
If it hadn’t been for Marie, he would never have made it. He smiled when he thought about his wife. She was a caring, thoughtful person who cherished her family. When they first married, she'd tried to encourage him not to suppress his needs. She knew Pete wasn’t in love with her and only loved her as his friend. She never pushed for any more but in a very short time he grew to love her. Her kindness was well known and her wicked sense of humor was the thing he loved most about her. It ensured they spent many hours of their marriage laughing. The day Valerie was born was the happiest day of their lives.
Pete never wanted to be with other men. Marie told him she didn’t mind but only asked him to be discreet for Valerie’s sake. Gay men in the art world were not uncommon and discriminated against. In fact, she used to tease him that he could pick an artist’s potential worth because he was gay. It was easy for Pete to be faithful to her. She was the most special woman in the world and the only man he ever loved was unavailable to him. Pete had settled into his marriage happily and even after she died, no woman ever came close to his Marie.
Now Brian was back in his life. He wondered what Brian would do if Justin couldn’t accept what was happening. He wasn’t even sure what was happening himself. He knew Brian loved him. He knew Brian loved Justin. Both he and Justin were in love with Brian, but that was it, he didn’t know anything else.
Pete turned off the water and dried off quickly. He wasn’t sure how long he was in the shower; he’d been so lost in his thoughts. There was a knock and the door opened.
“I brought in your tray, I thought you went down the drain,” Mrs. Thomas laughed
Pete smiled at her. “Thanks, what would I do without you to take care of us?”
“Hopefully, you will never find out because if I wasn't here, you would forget to eat and die. I want you to live for a long time, that's why I nag you,” she laughed. “I won't have my baby losing both her parents. Now Valerie wants to go to the gallery again tomorrow. I swear that child will be an artist one day.”
“She’s very talented,” Pete was almost bursting with pride. " I love having her there." When Valerie was born, his heart didn’t ache quite as much. She filled part of the hole that losing Brian had left inside him.
“Inherited that from her parents. Now eat and try and get some sleep, it’s awfully late to eat now but if you don’t you’ll get sick,” Mrs. Thomas scolded.
“Goodnight Mrs. Thomas.”
“I will see you at breakfast,” she warned. “Do not try and sneak out of here before you eat.”
Pete laughed. That was usually what he tried to do. If he ate all the food she wanted him to eat, he would resemble a beached whale. He ate half his sandwich and drank the milk. He didn’t feel like reading so he climbed into bed and thought about making love to Brian.
********
Justin took Brian’s hand and led him to the bedroom. Brian was still visibly upset. He knew Brian was in no condition to make decisions. He wasn’t even sure what decisions needed to be made. Did the fact that Brian had fucked Pete alter his own decision for them to move into the apartment? Should it? He wasn’t sure. He helped Brian undress and climbed into bed beside him. When Brian turned on his side, Justin spooned in behind him, holding his lover tight.
Brian ran his fingers softly up and down Justin’s arm that was wrapped around him. As the time went on, the stroking stopped and Brian was asleep.
Justin wondered if Pete was still awake the way he was. If all of this had happened a month ago, before Brian had proposed to him, he wouldn’t be having the same thoughts. But Brian had in fact proposed to him and then promised that they would be monogamous and a couple. He remembered how happy he felt that he wouldn’t have to share Brian with anyone again. Now everything had changed. There was no doubt in his mind about his feelings for Brian. The doubt came from whether he could share him with someone on an equal footing with himself. It was easy to say Brian could trick because he knew it didn’t mean anything but sex with Pete did mean something. Brian loved him. It wouldn’t be meaningless sex for gratification. It was loving and caring. It meant making love with Pete, the way he and Brian touched. Justin sighed. He wasn’t sure before, but he was jealous, he was. The emotion that Pete and Brian shared was something that he wasn’t a part of.
What were his choices? Justin wondered.
Justin slowly slipped out of bed and threw on his robe. He closed the door and sat at the desk in the living room. He took out a fresh sheet of paper and picked up a pen. He needed to see it on paper otherwise it would all just continue looping around inside his head and drive him crazy. He stood up and went to the bar and poured himself a drink. He knew he would need one. He downed the first and took the second back with him to his seat. He drew a box in the top left hand corner and wrote ‘Brian’ in it. He then extended two arrows and labeled each. His choices were…. ‘Stay with Brian’ or ‘Leave Brian’. He drew a box around each and extended his two arrows again.
Mind-mapping was the only way Justin knew to sort out his feelings. He wrote a dozen emotions for each choice and looked them. Pain, misery despair, loneliness, sadness, loss, anger, bitterness, vengeance, frustration, the words poured out him and down onto the page as he imagined his life without Brian. If he found himself in the position where he lost Brian, this would be how he would feel. If he felt that way what could he do to feel better? He drew another box and thought. ‘Forget Brian and Find Someone Else’ were the words he wrote in the box. Did he want to do that? The day in the loft when he realized they wanted different things, had been one of the most painful realizations of his life. He wanted Brian’s fidelity then but when he got it, after Brian proposed, it wasn't Brian anymore. He wasn’t happy with the changes in his lover. The edge was missing, the thrill was..... Brian wasn’t the same anymore. He'd accused Brian of changing just to make him happy. He didn’t want Brian to not be the person he really was. If he was really honest wuth himself, Justin liked the fact that his lover was sought after. It was exciting to know that Brian could have anyone he wished but he was Brian’s choice to love and to hold. Justin marveled at his once sickly desire to be the only one in Brian’s life. The night they called off the wedding, he remembered staring at a soft, sweet man who only wanted to cuddle. It sounded good in theory but living it was something else. Looking back, that night Brian was everything he wanted him to be when he left Brian for the fiddler and Justin hated it.
Justin went back to the “Stay with Brian” choice. Love, happiness, joy, caring, understanding, passion, excitement, spontaneity, success, closeness, Justin continued writing and smiled at all the things he had to look forward to. He drew another box at the end of his list. If he stayed with Brian what concessions would he have to make. What negative feelings would sharing Brian with Pete bring up? Jealousy, suspicion, anger, frustration, Justin paused. He was missing the point. He added to his list again. Insecurity, fear, selfishness…….would staying with Brian really stir up those emotions in him? He looked at the first one, jealousy. Why would he feel that? He took a large mouthful of his drink. “Because Brian was supposed to belong to only me. Brian promised me,” a small nagging voice whispered in his ear.
Justin didn’t want to listen to anything that voice was saying to him. If he did, he knew that his relationship with Brian would become a battle ground. Justin knew this wasn’t Brian’s fault. He could moan about it and make them both miserable or he could let that stupid thought go. He decided that recriminations would be a waste of time and end him up on the ‘Leave Brian’ path which was not the road he wanted to be on. He went back to the second negative feeling, suspicion. What was there to be suspicious about? Brian would only hide his feelings and behavior if he felt Justin would be hurt by it or upset by it. He discarded suspicion and anger. Anger was a waste of time. It didn't achieve anything. They were both a waste of his time. Justin sipped his drink. Insecurity was a potentially painful one on his list. Was Pete better in bed than him? This one was a lot harder to discard. Would Brian want to hold Pete more than he wanted to hold him? To kiss him and touch and make love to him, Justin shook his head. Fuck. This wasn’t about Brian, this was about him. He pulled himself together. He didn't need his ego massaged. He wasn't a school boy, he was a man. Was he attractive enough? He’d always thought so. Was he a good fuck? Justin smiled, he knew he was. Did Brian really love him? He didn’t doubt that. Was he good at what he did? Of course he was. He didn’t need to compare himself to Pete because there was no comparison to be made. He would never see himself in Pete’s reflection. Pete was everything Pete wanted to be and so was he. They weren’t in competition for Brian. Brian should never be made to choose between the people he loved. It was only a very small group of people and they were already chosen to be in that group in the first place. Fear, he had already covered. Selfishness, that was a big one too. Was he selfish? Did he expect Brian to sacrifice his happiness to honor his commitment to their love? Was that what their love was really about? Justin sculled the rest of his drink. He wrote across the page in bold print. “Not fucking likely” he screwed up the page and tossed it into the bin and went back to bed.
Brian was lying in bed, awake. He’d slept for a while and then woke to find Justin gone. He knew Justin well enough to understand he needed time to clear his head. Brian screwed up his face as he thought the words. What if Justin asked him to give up Pete? What would he do? He loved Pete so much. He loved the feeling of security that Pete gave him. But he couldn’t lose Justin. Justin was the one he asked to marry him. Justin was the one he was committed to. Justin trusted him and he wouldn’t let him down. He heard Justin come into the room and crawl in behind him. Brian closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. They could have this conversation tomorrow. They had their whole lives ahead of them but he only had one more night where it would be okay for him to dream about Pete.
********
Brian woke early and went downstairs to the gym. He hadn’t worked out for a week and his muscles felt it. He punished his body for the next hour, for all the things his mind was thinking and then made his way back upstairs. Justin was showered and sitting eating breakfast when Brian came through the door. Their bags were packed and piled near the doorway. Brian stared at the bags for a moment and then looked at Justin.
Justin smiled. “Come and have something to eat. I ordered you coffee and fruit. How was your workout?”
“Fine,” Brian tried to smile as he stood beside Justin at the table. He was achy already. “It’s only been a week and I can already notice my fitness is reduced. I’m soft and flabby.”
Justin laughed. “There is nothing flabby about you.” He reached for Brian’s cock that instantly jumped to attention at Justin’s touch. “There is nothing soft about you either,” Justin smiled.
Brian closed his eyes as Justin stroked him. He loved Justin to touch him this way. He felt Justin slip down his sweats and as Justin took Brian’s cock between his lips, he moaned softly. “Hmmmm,” Brian sighed, his eyes still closed. Justin was a master at sucking him off. He relaxed into the sensations that were coursing through his body.
Justin wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist and pulled him closer, forcing Brian’s cock down past the back of his throat. He then teased Brian with his tongue as he slid up and down the length of his cock. Juistin was in no hurry to rush this along. He was enjoying himself far too much to let it end just yet.
Brian was sighing now and he felt the familiar feeling start in his toes and shoot through his body. “Ahhhhhh,” he cried out as he pumped his load into Justin’s mouth, tangling his fingers in the shock of blond hair, pressed against his belly.
Justin pulled up Brian’s sweats and smiled. “Now eat something. You need to shower quickly. Pete is sending the car for us at nine thirty, remember?”
“So, we’re still going?” Brian asked cautiously.
“I want to see this soccer game,” Justin smiled.
Brian was confused but didn’t want to start the conversation that he knew they would eventually need to have. He nodded and grabbed an apple, chewing as he headed for the shower. Justin had laid him out clean sweats and a tee but packed everything else. Well it looked like they were going after all.
The car arrived promptly at nine thirty and drove them to the apartment. Brian’s eyes were wide with amazement but he didn’t say anything. Brian followed Justin to the elevator and watched as he put the key in the security lock for three.
“The security is good,” Brian said for something to say. He was nervous to see the apartment that he wanted Justin to have but he knew he couldn’t afford. When the elevator doors opened, Pete was waiting for them.
He stepped forward and kissed both Brian and Justin, although Justin’s kiss was on his cheek. “I’ll have Simon bring up your bags.”
Brian nodded as he wandered through the apartment in silence. Justin sat down on the sofa next to Pete.
“Is he okay?” Pete asked, concerned. He could see that Brian was definitely not okay.
“He’s scared that I will demand his fidelity and commitment and refuse to let him have both of us in his life.”
“Is that what you are going to do?” Pete asked. He could feel his heart pounding as he waited for Justin’s answer.
“What scenario do you have in mind?” Justin asked intrigued.
“I think we should spend some time together before we decide what we want to do,” Pete admitted. He was frightened what Justin would decide as well. Maybe if Justin got to see how much Brian meant to him, he would be more open to Brian having him in his life.
“I already know what I want, I just don’t know how it will work,” Justin laughed.
“Do you mind telling me what you want?”
“I want Brian to be happy and I want to be included in his life, simple as that.”
Pete smiled. “I want the same thing.”
“Then we are agreed,” Justin said confidently.
Pete nodded. “You do realize that it is a lot more complicated than that?”
Justin shook his head. “No, it really isn’t. I have thought about nothing else since Brian told me that you fucked yesterday,” Justin said casually.
“How do you feel about it?” Pete wasn’t sure if he was opening a can of worms with his question. Maybe it was too soon to be discussing this now but he needed to see where Justin’s head was at.
Justin looked to see if Brian was anywhere within earshot. “This is a difficult time for Brian and he needs our support. He has always been a confident, self assured person. I've never known Brian to second guess his decisions. Ever since he remembered his early childhood and you, he's been a wreck. The fact that he loves and wants you, means that you are good memories and it's the situation that's the problem. It doesn’t matter what I think because when you and Brian make love, it isn't about me. As long as Brian is happy, your intimate moments are therefore, none of my business. Your relationship with Brian is between you and Brian and my relationship with Brian is between him and me. I don’t see how it can be any other way at the moment. We don’t know each other yet. Art is the only thing we have in common apart from Brian. You may be a lover from his past but you are also the only family that he cares about. He needs you in his life. I think we need to spend some time together and we need to get to know each other. I'm not saying that the situation is easy, it isn't and I have my reservations but we both love Brian, that's the only truth I'm sure of.”
Pete was impressed at the maturity of Justin’s reasoning. He'd hoped but didn’t expect Justin to be so worldly about the situation. “Are we still on for our game this afternoon?”
Justin laughed. “This I have to see.”
“Oh, I told my housekeeper Mrs. Thomas to stock the larder for you. I’m sorry if it’s full of things Brian likes, I wasn’t sure what you ate?”
“Whatever Brian eats with a lot more fat content,” Justin smiled. “We usually order in but I do love to cook. Perhaps with the studio being in the same place, I will have all that traveling time to spend cooking. The studio is really amazing Pete. I know you didn’t have to make provision for me.”
“You see, I did. Brian loves you and that makes you important.”
Justin liked Pete, he had from the first moment he met him. A concerned looked washed over his face.
“What’s wrong?” Pete asked.
“Brian is taking too long, I’m worried about him,” Justin said.
“Do you want to go and find him?”
“Yes but I think you should go. He will have questions.”
Pete stood up to look for Brian. He walked through the apartment and finally found him in the gym. Brian was standing on the Stairmaster like a statue. He was pale and perspiration was beading across his forehead as he stared out into space. Pete reached for Brian’s hand to help him down. He was worried because Brian didn’t look very steady on his feet.
Brian pulled his hand away sharply.
“What’s wrong?” Pete asked.
“I told you my ass wasn’t for sale,” he growled. "I wasn't kidding."
Pete shook his head in disbelief. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
Brian stepped down from the Stairmaster and sat down on one of the rest chairs. “Aren’t you?”
Pete was angry with Brian. He knew him better than that or did he? So many years had passed. Maybe Brian didn’t know him anymore at all. “Stay if you want to stay, go if you want to go. Whether you stay or go, Justin is still welcome to use the studio.” He turned to leave but as he reached the door, Brian called out his name.
“Pete, please?”
The pleading tone in Brian’s voice stopped him from walking through the door.
“Can we talk about the apartment?” Brian could see Pete was angry and suddenly he was a small boy all over again seeking approval.
Pete walked back and sat in the chair next to Brian’s. “So talk,” he said abruptly.
“What am I supposed to think? You tell me that Justin needs to be here for the studio. I know I can’t possibly afford this. So, I’m thirteen again and you are paying for everything all over again.”
“Do you think I used to buy you things when you were a kid so you would feel obliged to fuck me?” Pete gasped in horror. “You think I was buying your affection then and the apartment is me doing it again now?”
Brian sighed. He didn’t think that at all. He didn’t know what he thought anymore. “Why am I here?”
“I picked this apartment because it has a studio. The only other studio in the building is mine. I live on the top two floors. I thought you might like to be close to me. I know I certainly wanted you close to me,” Pete said, his frustration obvious. “I have never and I will never buy anyone’s affection. I think too much of me for that and for you to even to suggest it, means you don’t know me at all.”
Brian felt like a naughty child who was caught doing the wrong thing. “I sorry, I want to be close to you too but Pete, I’m a man now, I can’t accept this. It’s too much. What would a place like this rent for?”
Pete sighed. He knew he would have to give Brian the truth. “Including the studio and the space on the other side… thirty five thousand a month.”
“Fuck, are you shitting me?" Brian choked on the words as he spoke them. "Even more reason why I can't take it. That’s twice what it costs to run Kinnetik for a month. I can’t accept this Pete," Brian shook his head. "I love you but if accepting the apartment makes me uncomfortable then why can't you understand. I can’t be your little boy toy in a fuck pad provided by my lover. I'm a man now.”
“Brian, this apartment belongs to you. The title transfers into your name on your fortieth birthday,” Pete blurted out.
“Wwhhhhattt?” Brian stammered. “How?”
“Mom left it for you in trust when she died. She loved you Brian. It was supposed to be a surprise. She wanted to give you the best birthday present on your fortieth. She left me a letter for you too but you don’t get it until then,” Pete smiled. “So you see; it isn’t a fuck pad for my supported boy toy. It belongs to you.”
Brian was overwhelmed with emotion. He loved his Nan and for her to make plans for his birthday, touched him deeply. “I miss her.”
Pete took Brian’s hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it softly. “I miss her too.”
Brian blinked back the tears. All his life, he had buried the painful memories deep inside him but ever since he remembered his youth, he had done nothing but cry like a baby. The memories of losing his Nan in the last years of her life, hurt a lot. They were so close and then she was alone and so was he. Brian was'nt even allowed to mention her name in the Kinney household. Brian remembered his father blaming her for bringing someone into their family who was a depraved monster, who then in turn, corrupted his son.
Justin stood in the doorway listening. He knew that he didn’t fully have his head around the situation. If he did, he wouldn’t have been lurking and listening. The pain that Brian was feeling was obvious. Justin hoped that he would be able to let his curiosity go. No good would come of it. Seeing them together was fascinating. Justin decided to unpack and leave Pete and Brian to resolve their dispute.
Pete pulled Brian over to sit beside him on the same chair. He wrapped his arms around Brian and held him while he cried. Brian seemed to be hanging on by a thread, the emotional rollercoaster ride of the last week, peaking again. “I don’t think of you as my boy toy you know?” he said calmly.
“I know that,” Brian sighed. “I’m in unchartered waters here; I don’t know what to fucking do or think.”
“Do you want me to be totally honest?” Pete asked.
Brian nodded. He wondered what new dynamic would now tumble down on him.
“I do have a fantasy of you in a thong, dusting the living room while I watch,” Pete said very seriously.
Brian smiled. “How do I look?”
“Fucking amazing,” Pete grinned.
“And I suppose that after I finish dusting that you get me to probe your prostate,” Brian smirked.
“Of course, what else do you want to do after you finish dusting,” Pete laughed. “Are we still going to the park, this afternoon?”
“Do you still have a delusion that you can outrun me?” Brian hoped that Pete would back out. he was so sore from his morning workout.
“Of course.”
“How about you show me the apartment again so I can really look this time? The first time I walked through in a daze. I had a head full of shit.”
“Can I kiss you first?” Pete twirled the hair at the back of Brian's neckline.
“I would be disappointed if you didn’t,” Brian smiled as he edged towards him.
Pete pulled Brian in close, winding his arms around the man he loved and crashing his mouth down over Brian’s. Time seemed to stand still as they hungrily devoured each other. Brian could feel his cock hard and leaking. He wanted to fuck Pete there and then but Brian pulled away before all his control was gone.
“Come on, show me my new apartment,” Brian smiled as he wondered what he was going to do about the tenting in his pants.
Pete was suffering from the same condition. He pulled Brian to his feet and dragged him into the bathroom in the gym.
Brian stood with his back to the wall as Pete closed the door. He knew they had to stop but he didn’t want to. Pete stirred feelings in him that he didn’t know where they came from. Pete turned him into a bubbling volcano just before it erupted.
“Brian, we can’t do what I know we both want,” Pete panted as he looked deep into Brian’s lustful eyes.
“I know,” Brian whispered as he undid the tie on his sweats. He slid his hand down the front of his pants and stroked his now aching cock.
Pete wanted to do the same but stayed on his side of the room. He slipped his pants down just enough to expose his cock.
Brian felt his breath catch as he looked wistfully as Pete’s beautiful cock. He wanted to taste it but he knew he couldn’t. Justin was waiting for them, and it didn't seem fair.
Both men watched the other as they fisted their cocks till they came. Brian reached for the tissues and wished he had dropped his pants too. He cleaned up as best he could so he didn’t need to change.
“What about the tour?” Brian grinned.
Pete laughed as he opened the door. He walked Brian through the apartment. When they came to the large empty space, Brian looked questioningly at Pete. “This is in case you ever want Kinnetik to have a New York address.”
Brian wound his arms around Pete’s neck.
“Happy baby?” Pete asked.
“Very.” Brian still wasn’t sure how he felt about all this but he didn’t want to spoil this wonderful moment. There was plenty of time for his narcissism to ruin his happiness. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy his Nan’s special gift, find Justin and play soccer. That was all he could deal with. “You know I could store my entire loft in that space and still have room left over. This place is huge, Pete.”
“I have two floors but then I like lots of space.” Pete laughed. “And have a space munching teenage girl.”
“I can’t wait to meet her,”
“I can’t wait for you to meet her too. So you are staying?”
“Yeah, we’re staying.”
“Could you love someone who dreams about you in a leather thong?” Pete winked.
“Leather, huh?” Brian laughed.
“Sometimes I vary it and it’s silk,” Pete smiled. “Let’s find Justin before we have to go back to the bathroom. What do I get if I beat you this afternoon?”
“You won’t,” Brian laughed.
“But if I do?”
“If you do, we’ll see about that little fantasy of yours,” Brian smirked. He could see Pete was already planning his strategy, encouraged by the prize. Brian wondered if his heart was really into winning the way it should have been.