Maybe This Time Book I
Chapter One
Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Pairing: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor
Genres: Angst, AU, POV, Drama, Romance
Warnings: OOC
Summary:Brian and Justin are forced together under very different circumstances.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer as Folk are properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and others. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is rated by the author and not by any independent body.
________________________________________________________________________________The title picture was designed by Sarah (Rose ThornUK ), thanks *hugs* Ash
April 1997
Brian lay awake staring at the ceiling puffing on a joint. He knew he had to switch off and not let it get to him. Tomorrow would come and go and nothing would be any different and that was the saddest thing of all. Lisa had just lost both her mother and her father, not that losing him was any great loss but to a seven year old he was still daddy.
Thank God most children would never have to experience the emotional torture that this little girl had just lived through. A child who had lived with abuse all her life. There probably wasn’t a bone in her poor little body that hadn’t been broken and now she had lost her mother too.
It was the way she clung to Brian afterwards; he thought his heart was going to break. When she was older she would discover that her daddy had killed her mother and sharpshooters had killed him in the siege that followed. Lisa was there the whole time, huddled in a corner, waiting for it to be her next.
He shook his head as if to shake off the day. He had to stop thinking about it or he would never get to sleep. No sleep meant you couldn’t get up the next day and do it all again.
At least Lisa was settled into the hospital for the night. In the morning, he would find her a foster care placement and maybe she could start to heal too.
He stubbed out the butt, turned off the light and turned over to sleep. Tomorrow was always another day, shame it would be the same.
***
Mikey was worried about his friend. He had never seen Brian so tired looking and withdrawn. He knew Brian's caseload had been heavy and complicated this year, not that dealing with abused kids could ever be on the light side. Mikey knew his job was taxing but Brian had always loved it.
“I’m making a difference,” he used to say all excited. “Helping kids that the world has forgotten.”
Come to think about it, he hadn’t heard the speech in quite a while. “You look like shit,” Mikey announced.
“You would too if you had been where I was yesterday,” Brian replied.
“I wish you had someone when it was happening to you.”
“I did, Vic and your Mum and you of course” he punched Michael in the arm. “What do you want to eat?”
“Come on come on, I don’t have time to stand around with you two all day. What will it be?” Deb barged into their conversation.
“Two eggs over easy with a side of bacon and sausage and OJ please Ma.”
“Just coffee for me, black.”
“I wish you would eat more. I’m gonna bring you a turkey on whole wheat for later.”
“Thanks Ma,” Brian smiled up at her and she hit him in the ear playfully.
“You little asshole,” she said as she dashed away to get the next order from the table near the door.
Brian looked over at his surrogate mother. She was always there for him through every bloodied nose, black eye and broken bone. Some nights he didn’t know how he had the strength to climb through Mikey’s window. Oh yeah and then there was that time that his leg was broken and he spent the night on their porch till Deb took him to the hospital in the morning. He always hated waking her. She was so good to him but there was something about the early hours of the morning. Jack Kinney seemed to like to get home late and beat his son and when he did, his mother pretended to pray, locking herself away from the both of them where she was safe. She would always tell Brian that this was his cross to bear and he was getting closer to Jesus with each blow, proving that he loved his Lord. Jesus was watching over him making sure he would be all right. When he was old enough to challenge the propaganda that Jesus loved him more because he got the shit kicked out of him every day of his life, she became withdrawn and told him he would be punished for questioning God’s ways. That time was so fucked. No wonder he couldn’t wait to get out of that house and get away to college fast enough. He worked hard to get a full scholarship because Jack had always said he was worthless and would never amount to anything. Brian had certainly proved his father wrong.
“I’ve got to go. Busy! Busy! I got to run or Cynthia will kick my butt,” Brian laughed, grabbing his sandwich for later.
“See you at Babylon tonight,” Mikey’s voice pleaded.
“Woody’s for one drink and I’ll see what the day is like.” Brian knew not to promise because he never could predict what the day would bring.
“Sounds fair to me,” Mikey said as he headed off towards the comic book store
***
Brian rushed into his office. He had to find a placement for Lisa and then get down to the hospital.
Cynthia appeared in the doorway looking very serious.
“What’s up?” Brian asked not liking the look on her face.
“I got a call this morning early and I didn’t see any point in disturbing you but Lisa Hendricks had a cerebral hemorrhage and died at 7.30am. I’m sorry Brian.”
“Wwwwhaat!” he stammered.
“They think she must have suffered a blow to the head during the altercation with her father last night that they missed at the hospital and well she just died," Cynthia shrugged. "Sometimes we lose them Brian.” She was visibly upset but all Brian could think about was the little girl that trusted him to protect her and how he had failed.
“I can’t do this anymore.” He got up from behind his desk and walked out the door, determined never to be responsible for anyone ever again.
September 2002
“Cynthia” Brian seemed more aloof however still stood up from his chair to greet her “How have you been?”
“Great Bri, I see your doing fine,” she said as she glanced around his office. It was very impressive and up-market. It wasn’t just the office it was the Armani suit he was wearing. My God he is beautiful, what a shame he’s probably still gay at least I hope he is still gay, she thought.
“Yeah a far cry from that hole we used to work in,” his words brought her back to reality.
“Well, the hole still looks the same,” she smiled.
“Oh Cyn, I didn’t think, so how are you and what do you want?”
“You certainly know how to cut to the chase.”
“Cyn, I haven’t seen you in five years.”
“Nearly five and a half,” she corrected.
“Why now?”
“Can’t a friend....”
“Don’t give me the can’t a friend bullshit what gives?” he barked.
Cynthia was shocked. The rumors were obviously true. Where was the sweet caring boy who would have walked over hot coals to help someone in need? From the surroundings he was now a true capitalist and from his tone, his patience had disappeared with his ideals as well.
“Hey, babe last time I looked I was one of the good guys, when did you become one of the I don’t want to knows?” She looked into his eyes and watched his hard facade start to melt.
He looked shocked at her words. He hadn’t seen her since the funeral of the little girl that died. He really couldn’t go down that road again with her or anyone else. “Want to get some lunch?”
“Sure,” she smiled. Perhaps the old Brian was in there after all.
“Clear me some space for a lunch meeting Sally, book the restaurant and tell them we’re on our way. Move my appointments, I’m not coming back this afternoon.” The poor girl looked like she was glad to see the back of him.
They went to Polyarchis. It was very up-market and expensive Italian restaurant. Everyone seemed to know Brian very well. He was obviously a good customer.
“So, how is the world of advertising?” she asked.
“Pays the bills,” he quipped.
“So I see,” she couldn’t help but look around and be impressed.
“Your favorite sir,” the waiter smiled as the wine just arrived without being ordered, showing Brian the label then pouring him a taste.
“Thank you Mario, that’s fine,” lowering his glass back to the table. ”An excellent year,” he mused after he tasted.
Cynthia was so shocked at the change in him. He looked like a commercial for everything. The stuff dreams were made of. He had never been superficial or into the wannabes or wannahaves. But from the look of it she was going to be preaching to the converted.
“So, what’s the deal,” he stated again.
“Don’t you miss it?” she asked. “Doing something that really matters.”
“Getting my heart ripped out regularly and stuffed down my throat.” Brian raised one eyebrow.
Cynthia laughed “Well sometimes, but the good far out weighs the bad.”
“I didn’t find that towards the end,” he laughed. “You’re stalling, spill it,” he was serious again.
“I know you don’t do counseling anymore but there is a boy who I think, may be able to benefit from your past experiences," she started.
“Hold it, not a chance. I’m not a counselor anymore; my license isn’t even up to date so I’m sorry there’s no point in even discussing it.” He seemed not even approachable; Cynthia thought she would try another tack later.
“What do you feel like?” she asked as she opened her menu.
After lunch they parted with him heading off to the gym and Cynthia towards the Liberty Diner.
“Hi, Deb,” she waved as she saw her across the room.
“Did you see him?”
“Yeah you were right, what an asshole!”
“But he’s my asshole and I can’t leave him like that. He is so disconnected that I barely recognize him,” Debbie shook her head. “I don’t think he feels anymore at all, it just breaks my heart.”
“Don’t worry Deb, we shall do our best,” and with that Cynthia left for her next stop, Mr. JP Farnsworth.
***
“Mr. Farnsworth will see you now.” The butler showed her into the office.
“Cynthia, always a pleasure my dear.” A handsome elderly man smiled at her.
“Thank you sir.”
“Well, how did you go with Mr. Kinney?” the gentlemen asked.
“Not as well as I had hoped,” she sighed.
“Should we look for someone else?”
“No, we’ve tried four already and with each failed attempt Justin slips further and
further away from us. On his game, no one is as good as Brian, but even though he has the skills he doesn’t feel like he has the emotional strength to see another case through. Anyway Justin doesn’t need a therapist as much as he needs a friend. I think I may have a way to put both of them together for their mutual good.”
“I see a plan forming, I’m sure it will be a wonder.”
“Thanks Uncle Jake,” she laughed as she threw her arms around the old mans neck. It just had to work. “I need you to do something for me.”
Cynthia hoped her plan would be too tempting for Brian to pass up.
***
“Brian, there’s a call for you from Farnsworth Industries.” Ted was so excited.
“Don’t they make…?” Brian was thinking out loud.
“Just about everything.” Ted couldn’t believe their luck.
“What do they want?”
“To discuss their advertising needs for the January quarter.”
“Brian Kinney, how may we assist you?” Brian smiled into the phone.
***
Ted was jumping from foot to foot. Accountants are not that easy to excite. In fact Brian had never seen him that excited before.
“Well, a Mr. Saunders is coming over tomorrow at three to tell us what they’re looking for,” Brian stated as he hung up the phone.
Ted looked at Brian and wondered why he was so calm. “You do know that their advertising budget per quarter is around $20M.
Now Brian was excited.
***
“Mr. Saunders, Brian Kinney and this is Ted Schmidt.” Brian held out his hand and ushered Mr. Saunders to the lounge area. “How may we help you?” he asked.
“Mr. Kinney.”
”Please, its Brian.”
”Brian, as you know, Farnsworth Industries is a large corporation. We have in the past used Collins and Grey for all our advertising needs.”
”They are a very old and established agency,” Brian said and gave Mr. Saunders his most businesslike look. “Are you dissatisfied with their performance?”
“Not necessarily but we are prepared to offer you a $250,000 retainer until we ascertain if your services would be more appropriate.”
“That’s very generous of you, however what do you want us to do?”
“We are a very old firm with many layers of management, it may take some time to make a change-over of agencies so the retainer is only to show our good faith and to prove our interest.
Well at that point, Brian thought that Ted was going to lose it completely. He could only hope that he could get Mr. Saunders out of the Lounge before Ted started doing the Highland Fling.
“We will be contacting you Brian to inform you of the next step.” Mr. Saunders rose to his feet, shook hands with both Ted and Brian, smiled and headed for the door. Once it was closed Ted just about jumped into his bosses arms.
“That went well Bri,” Ted smiled, stating the obvious.
“$250K for nothing is nice but $20M per quarter is even better. This company is now my personal project. They have my undivided attention. They could make Kinnetik into the largest advertising agency in the country. Ted I want a full run-down on all of their products and services, the campaigns that have been run in the past and what’s coming up in the future.”
“Yes boss,” Ted saluted as he hurried back to his own office.
Brian smiled and dialed his cell. “Mikey, feel like a drink after work today?’
“Is this Brian 'I don’t have time for anything' Kinney?’
“Okay, I know I haven’t been around much lately but, we did a deal today at work that may just change that in the future. I feel like celebrating and I thought of you.
How bout it, wanna get together?” Brian drawled.
“Sure! 7pm at the Diner and then we’ll go to Woody’s.”
“Sounds like a plan, I’ll meet you there. Bye.”
Brian disconnected. It would be nice to see Deb it had been awhile since he felt happy enough to have a real conversation with her.
“Deb, I can’t breathe,” Brian panted, short of breath.
“Well, you should visit more often,” she was adamant. “I never see you any more, where have you been hiding?”
“Working Deb, just working. Hopefully things will start to slow down now we just landed a new client. Even though it will be more work, we know where the money is coming from for a while and that takes some of the stress away.” Brian laughed.
“I’m glad things are looking up honey. Have you met anyone you like?”
“Whoa. Deb, One step at a time. I have trouble being responsible for me let alone for someone else.”
“You don’t need to be responsible for someone to let them love and care about you.”
“Mikey, are we eating or Deb are you preaching?”
“Well order something, I’ve got work to do,” Debbie huffed.
Brian rubbed the back of her hand acknowledging her caring and was hit in the back of the head for his trouble. “Something’s never change,” he and Mikey both laughed as she stormed off to get their order.
“Deb, phone for you.”
“Hi. Its Cyn.”
“Hi honey, how is it going?”
“You tell me. “
“Well he’s here.”
“Then we’re ready for stage 2.”
“Thanks honey, I owe you.”
“I need him too so we’re even. Bye Deb.”
“Talk to you soon,” Cynthia smiled as her plan came together.
“My God I had forgotten just how much grease is in that Diner food.” Brian remarked to his friend as he shifted uncomfortably on his stool at Woody’s ”Lets go to Babylon, I feel like a little sucking and fucking.”
“You are back,” said Michael
“Every now and then there is nothing wrong with a warm body,” Brian smirked.
The two men headed towards Babylon.
”Oooh Teddy that’s wonderful,” Emmett clapped as Ted spilled his news.
“Telling all our secrets are you?”
“Oh hi Bri, I didn’t know you were coming tonight. Well it’s been a wonderful day.”
“It has been that Theodore,” Brian marveled. “A client like Farnsworth Industries doesn’t just fall into your lap easily. I wonder where they came from, I should have asked who the referral was.”
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. We are just marvelous and they know it,” Teddy beamed.
“Enough shop, I’m going to do a quick spin of the dance floor and visit the backroom boys. See you soon,” Brian drawled, his eyes full of mischief.
Michael just shook his head. Brian loved anonymous sex, no names, no repeats. Michael wanted more, a relationship with that one special someone forever and ever. Gay men came in all shapes and sizes.
As Brian stalked around the edge of the dance floor, he looked like a jungle cat casing his prey. The red silk shirt was un-buttoned to his waist and the cream linen pants hung low on his hips left nothing to the imagination. It was steamy inside the club so his hair was slightly damp. He looked so hott as he moved through the crowd. He was truly beautiful. Brian spotted a dirty blond almost in the middle of the floor and he made his move.
“Fuck off!” he said to the man his intended victim was dancing with and began to grind himself against his prey. Kissing the man on the neck, covering the whole area making it shiny with saliva, before devouring his mouth. He had to pull away breathless. Grabbing the front of his trousers, Brian dragged the man towards the back room, making their way through the bodies, finding an empty section of wall.
Brian leaned against it pushing the blond to his knees.
“I have a little something for you,” he smirked as the man undid his belt and trousers letting his nine-inch cock spring free. The man looked as if he had died and gone to fag heaven. “Feel free to blow it,” Brian smiled.
After about ten minutes, Brian leaned back heavily against the wall with his head tilted back. Covered in saliva, his cock was shining in the dark. His balls were being gently sucked as the blond ran his fingers over his slit. His cock was dripping pre-cum now and the trick was happily lapping. Brian thought it was time to move things along, it had been pretty slow. He lifted his blond up to face him and crashed his mouth over the tricks tasting himself, before spinning him around, almost tearing the guy's pants from his body. “Lean forward,” Brian demanded as rolled the condom over his cock squirting the lube in his palm. He quickly prepared his prey, not giving him time to adjust before slamming himself to the hilt inside his victim. He almost had to hold the man up, but in a short time the dirty blond was leaning back, pushing against Brian, begging for more.
“Fuck me harder, you’re so big, err fuck me, please.”
“Certainly, your wish is my command.” Brian replied as he withdrew and pushed back inside his trick over and over again until he felt his balls lift up. He reached around and fisted the very stiff cock in front of him. It only took a few strokes and the man was cumming all over Brian’s hand and the wall in front of them. He let the guy suck his fingers. Cum was dripping from the blond's mouth and down his face. It was everywhere. His tight, hot channel was constricting around Brian’s cock squeezing and pushing him over the edge, causing him to fill the condom, Brian groaned releasing all the tension that had been building up inside. Pulling out, Brian tied off the condom and discarded it in the nearest bin. Straightening up himself and his clothes he looked down at the crumpled trick against the wall.
“You okay buddy?” He really wasn’t concerned but he thought he would check if the guy was still alive.
“You want me to come home with you?” the guy pleaded.
“No, I think you need a break, have a good night,” and with that he went back to the bar to have a drink.
A good day and a good start to the night, Brian smirked as he watched out for something a little spicier as he made his way back to the guys at the bar.
“So, feeling better?” Mikey asked.
“Needed to take the edge off,” Brian laughed “Tricks in this place don’t have the stamina they used to have you noticed that?”
“Well when you cram a whole night of love-making into twenty minutes it requires certain level of fitness,” Mikey replied sarcastically.
“On that note I think I’m feeling a little horny.”
“Already, you just got back,” Mikey laughed.
“It a long walk.”
“Let's talk for five minutes.”
“See ya Mikey,” and Brian was gone again.
Emmett, Mikey and Ted all looked at each other and shook their heads.
“Too much meaningless sex, that’s his problem,” said Theodore.
“Yeah, I wish I had that problem,” Emmett sighed wistfully.
“Me too,” said Michael.
They continued to shake their heads as they watched Brian choose his next target and repeat the whole scenario again. After three trips to the back room, Brian came back needing food.
“I’m hungry, let’s go to the Diner for a snack. I need to keep up my strength.” He said grinning. “Come on boys let’s go.”
They looked at each other and decided they weren’t going to see any action, so food sounded like a good idea. Another night where Brian got laid for all of them.
Ted shook his head.
“Not a bad day,” Brian laughed, thinking about what he wanted to eat.