Deep Cover
Part One
Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Pairing: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor
Genres: Angst, AU, Romance. Major Character Death, Anti Mel
Warnings:None
Summary: Set post 513. When a secret from Justin's past is revealed, Brian is more than surprised. Will the relationship they have developed over the last five years survive? Plot bunny by Gage.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer as Folk are properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and others. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is rated by the author and not by any independent body.
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Nathan Downing learnt from an early age to keep his head down and his nose clean. Even though he was always brighter than most of his classmates, he preferred to appear average. In most homes, good grades were demanded or at the very least encouraged… but not in the Downing household.
His father, Wayne Downing was an armchair sportsman, who demanded his son be the sporting legend, he always wanted to be. Wayne believed that if you were good looking and had an aptitude for sport, you didn’t need to be smart. It was a Downing law and Nathan was expected to live by it and realize his father’s dream.
Like any young boy, who was eager to please, his father’s approval meant everything to him. So, intelligence was out and physical achievement became Nathan’s mission. His father dictated the focal point and Nathan barreled in that direction.
Even though very little regard was given to education, achieving average grades, for Nathan, required no effort whatsoever. Sadly, education was unimportant and everything that meant anything, revolved around football. When Nathan’s sporting prowess guaranteed his college placement, the momentous occasion had his father bursting with pride. Wayne Downing was thrilled his son would now receive the attention he always craved for, but had never been good enough to get for himself.
Being a sports hero, who was pandered to by the faculty, only lasted as long as it was possible to play for the college. So, when the parade was over, along with the health of his knees, Nathan started again.
It was the end of his second year… so; he studied hard, a first for Nathan, who had never studied a thing in his life. At the time, he didn’t even have a major, but he graduated only six months late and at the top of his class.
As an adult he knew, his youth without intellect was tragic. Making the decision to reach his potential was the best one of his life.
“Excuse me, sir?”
Nathan looked up. “Yes, Agent Hardy?”
“The Director marked this file for your immediate attention,” she smiled.
He nodded and opened the file at once. After only a few pages in, his face screwed up and he dived for the phone. “Is he in?” Nathan asked abruptly.
Amy Hardy had barely made it back to her desk. “Just one moment, sir, he’s been expecting your call.”
“Nate.”
“Jack, what is this?” Nathan demanded.
“It’s highly sensitive, Nathan.”
“Sensitive? This is crazy. How could we lose an agent? I’m coming up.” Nathan jumped to his feet and hurried to the elevator, the file safely tucked under his arm. He ignored Amy, walking past her without a word, before bursting into Jack Hoban’s office.
“Close the door,” Jack ordered.
Nathan returned to the open door and closed it before sitting. He put the file on his superior’s desk and waited for an explanation.
“Did you read it?” Jack frowned.
“I read it, but…”
Jack sighed. “Grant Newborn took the kid straight out of Quantico; it was just before he got sick. The boy was good looking, his family was local, and for the first four months, it seemed everything was fine,” he paused. “When Grant fell ill, we lost him.”
“Jack, you can’t be serious?” Nathan gasped, but he could see by Jack’s face, he was.
“It was a deep cover, with Grant as his contact," Jack paused "In the wash up of Grant’s illness and his records not being complete, we lost the kid,” he shrugged and then shook his head. “I know it’s a fuck up, but we have an agent out there and he needs to come in.”
“Why did we have a seventeen year old agent in the first place?” Nathan demanded.
“They made an exception at Quantico because the boy was remarkable," Jack paused.”Coupled with his uncle's recommendation...."
Nathan interrupted. “His uncle? Who the fuck was his uncle?”
“Grant Newborn.”
“He fast tracked his nephew through Quantico and put him into an active DEA operation?” Nathan shrieked.
“The age was irregular, but the kid had completed his training and was top of his class. He was chosen for his intelligence and his look, despite his age." Jack shrugged. "I’m not saying Grant’s logic wasn’t flawed, but it’s done now and we need to fix it. When a wad of un-presented checks were returned to payroll recently, it raised an alarm. Some eager beaver in Records queried the circumstances. If they hadn’t asked questions, we still wouldn’t know. We need to handle it ourselves, we can’t afford any leaks.”
“We meaning me,” Nathan sighed. “Where are the case notes?”
“They aren't complete and there hasn’t been a report in four years. I just hope he’s still alive.”
Although Nathan respected Grant when he was on top of his game, the period prior to his Alzheimer’s being diagnosed had been complicated. “The fucking idiot sent the kid in with his own identity. It shouldn’t be hard to check. No death certificate…he’s alive,” Nathan growled.
“If it is so simple, why haven’t we heard from him?”
“Good question,” Nathan frowned. “I have too much work for this shit, Jack.” Grant was a good man in is day, but it was obvious to everyone he was slipping well before he fell ill. Nathan couldn’t believe Grant’s illness wasn’t addressed earlier. People’s lives were at stake.
“This is a fuck up of colossal proportions. We can’t have the press getting wind of it. There are only two people who know anything substantial, you and me and we really don’t know much at all.”
“What about our friend in Payroll?”
“Taken care of.”
Nathan nodded. He buzzed Jack’s secretary “Agent Hardy, get me on the first flight to Pittsburgh?”
“Certainly, sir,” she replied.
Nathan put down the phone and looked at his boss. “Grant’s situation should never have been left on hold for so long. He wasn’t all there towards the end. How could he have still been running operations?” Containing his frustration was impossible.
“He was a more than a good agent in his day, Nate, but because he was senior, his team protected him. They tried to cover for him, but no one was in the loop on this one. It was Grant’s baby and the notes for this particular case are vague. There is no mention of the agent’s name in the case notes. From the returned checks, I traced the kid back to his Quantico file and crosschecked it with Grant’s old notes. It’s taken me almost two weeks to put it together. Fix it, Nate. You are the youngest Assistant Director ever to be appointed and the only person I trust with this.”
“I’ll call when I know something.” Without another word, he stood up and left. Nathan nodded to Agent Hardy as she gave him his flight details and then looked at his watch. He had three hours.
********
Nathan made a few calls. His team was top notch; a crack team of investigators who would make sure things went smoothly in his absence. He threw enough clothes, for the next couple of days, into a suitcase and was on his flight with plenty of time to spare. He hadn’t been in the field for five years, but old habits died hard and had Nate poring over the very incomplete file for most of the trip. Preparation was everything, but in this case, Nathan had no idea what he was walking into.
Justin Taylor was an exceptionally intelligent young man, who’d graduated high school a year earlier than he was supposed to, with 1500 on his SAT’s. The boy was top of his class at Quantico. It was unbelievable to Nathan that someone hadn’t noticed the kid simply disappeared. Nathan wondered how Grant had convinced the kid to go back to school when he’d already graduated… it was even the same school, no less. He stared at the photograph in the file. Appearing to be jail bait, must have been essential for Taylor’s infiltration into the scene. The reports only came in monthly for four months, which was irregular and they were anecdotal at best. They should have been weekly, Nathan thought. Cases like this notoriously took time, but monitoring the agent was paramount. When Grant was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he was the only one who knew of the kid’s involvement. Around the same time, the reports stopped and no one was abreast enough of the case to even raise the alarm. What a cock up.
Nathan decided his first stop would be Grant’s sister and the boy’s mother, Jennifer Taylor.
********
Jennifer extended her arm and walked towards the handsome man who had just entered her office. His light sandy blond hair and striking blue eyes were captivating. “I’m Jennifer Taylor,” she smiled.
“Nathan Downing,” he smiled, warmly. “Pleased to meet you.”
“What can I help you with Mr. Downing?” Jennifer was on a roll. She’d already closed three houses so far this week. If this guy was four, she would be holidaying in the Bahamas next month.
“Actually Mrs. Taylor,” he paused and produced his identification. “I’m with the FBI. I need to ask you some questions about your brother.”
“Grant?” She looked shocked. “My brother died a year ago, Agent Downing. I don’t understand.”
“Could we talk about this over lunch?” Nate smiled. “I need some clarification for our files.”
“Um… no problem, I’ll just be a moment.” Jennifer spoke to a man in the office, before picking up her purse and joining him again. “Do you have anywhere in mind?” She tried to not be affected by his amazing good looks, but she couldn’t help it…he was incredibly handsome.
“I’m not local, I’ll leave the choice of restaurant to you,” he grinned.
Jennifer took him to the deli at the end of the block. It was the closest place and she was curious. They ordered sandwiches and she waited to find out what was going on.
“Mrs. Taylor,” Nathan started.
“Jennifer, please,” she smiled.
“Jennifer, in the time before Grant was diagnosed, we’ve found some irregularities in his files,” he sighed.
Her face changed and Nathan could see she was unimpressed. “If you are insinuating my brother was corrupt…” Her voice elevated.
“No, no,” he quickly reassured her. “I knew your brother. We worked together when I first joined the bureau. He was a fine man,” Nathan back pedaled. Jennifer’s eyes were flashing. He needed to diffuse the situation. “These are personal discrepancies. I’m trying to close a case he was working on and the file is incomplete. I assure you, his honesty has never been in issue.”
Jennifer looked relieved.
“Your son, Justin,” he paused. “Grant used to talk of him often. I know they were close.”
Jennifer face distorted. “They were at one time.”
“Did they have a falling out? I hope you don’t mind me asking?” Probing for details was the only way he’d find anything. He couldn’t very well say… Is you son alive and if he ran the usual background checks and there was a problem, he may send up a red flag.
“No, not at all,” she sighed. “Justin was an exceptional student. He graduated high school a year early and went to stay with Grant. He wanted to be FBI like his uncle. Grant was Justin’s hero, right from when he was a little boy,” she smiled. “My brother was always off on an adventure and Justin grew up with Grant always being somewhere exciting. Justin wanted to be like him.”
“Did he join the FBI?” It couldn’t be this easy, Nate thought.
The lines on her forehead deepened. “That was the plan when he left home, but in six months he was back at school. Even though Justin was smart, I was always afraid he lacked the maturity to leave school so young. When Grant convinced him to go back, I was thrilled and the second time around, his SAT’s scores were even higher… perfect for Dartmouth.” she added. “The time away with Grant was good for him. When he came back, Justin was a lot more mature. Can I be candid Agent Downing?”
“Of course.”
“I was never fond of the idea of Justin being an agent. I know the anguish my mother went through with Grant. I wanted my son to be safe,” she shrugged.
“So when he came back, he’d given up on the FBI?” Nate tried to keep the conversation going.
“Yes,” she smiled. “And I was relieved.”
“Did he go to Dartmouth?” Nathan asked.
Jennifer laughed. “That was the plan, but things never go as easily as we might hope.”
Nathan waited for her to continue, but she didn’t say anything. He needed to fish further. “It must have been difficult when Justin came back…I mean, if he and Grant weren’t as close as they once were?”
“No, they were still very close… right up until Grant was diagnosed,” she paused and sighed. “But, by the time Justin had been through rehab, Grant didn’t know him anymore. My brother deteriorated much faster than we expected,” she sighed.
Rehab…had Justin become addicted to drugs while he was undercover? “That must have been hard for Justin?”
“Not really,” she shrugged. “Justin suffered memory loss as a result of his accident as well. The sad part was,” she sighed. “For two people who were so close, they simply lost each other,” she sighed again.
“What sort of accident did your son have?” he asked calmly. What fucking accident?
“It was in all the papers. He was bashed the night of his Prom by another student. We nearly lost him. Do you mind if we don’t talk about this?” She asked.
“It must be upsetting for you,” he nodded.
“It was… it still is. To come so close to losing him that way, was terrifying."
“So, how is Justin now,” Nate smiled. He was so close, he couldn’t stop now.
“Recovered and he’s an artist,” she grinned.
“I’d like to meet him before I leave.” BINGO, I got him, Nate thought.
Jennifer smiled. This man was gorgeous and interested in her life. Since her divorce, she’d found it difficult finding men to socialize with who had any interest in anything other than their dick’s. This one may be a keeper. “Why don’t you come for dinner tonight and I’ll introduce you to both my children?”
Nathan smiled provocatively. “I’d like that.”
Jennifer was thrilled. “I’ll check if Justin’s free. Please excuse me a moment?” She pulled out her cell and dialed. “Jus, its Mom. What are you and Brian doing for dinner?” She listened for a moment then laughed. “Okay, what about seven and he can still hit Babylon after. I have a friend of Uncle Grant’s who wants to meet you. Yes, at the house at seven.” She closed her cell and smiled. “That’s fine.”
“Wonderful,” Nate smiled too. “I can put the face to all the stories Grant told me. You said Justin and Brian?”
“Brian is Justin’s partner. I don’t know what we would have done without Brian when Justin was hurt. Justin was so frightened all the time and Brian was great with him,” she said sadly. “He put his life on hold when Justin was hurt and was there for him every step of the way.” Jennifer paused for a moment and then laughed. “They are in an undefined, non relationship as Brian describes it,” she giggled. “He’s commitment phobic, but Justin loves him and even though Brian won’t admit it, I know he loves Justin too.” Jennifer scribbled her address on the back of her business card. “I really need to be getting back, but I’ll see you at seven,” she smiled. “I’m looking forward to hearing about your early Bureau days with Grant.”
Nathan stood up and shook her hand. “I’m looking forward to it too. It isn’t often I’m offered a home cooked meal,” he smiled.
As Jennifer left the deli, she wondered if Agent Downing was married. He was the most handsome man she’d met in a long time, even if he was FBI. Grant had been through three wives over his career. Being attached to the Bureau just wasn’t conducive to a stable family life. Agent Downing was breathtaking though and in his case; maybe she should make an exception?
Nate checked into his hotel. Justin must have lost his memory of Grant and the case in his accident. Why else wouldn’t he have checked in? It sounded like he had moved on with his life. His mother said he was an artist and he was obviously settled in his non-relationship. Nathan smiled. This Brian character would be worth meeting… non-relationship; that was funny. It was a bit like his relationship with Brad. Suddenly he stopped. Brian? It couldn’t be. Surely his agent wasn’t settled in domestic bliss with someone he was using in his investigation. Nathan ran a current background check on Brian Kinney. Jennifer had offered they were involved. Fuck, their man was shacked up with one of the suspects. Was Taylor corrupt as well? According to the file, Kinney was the best window in they had at the time. He was in the know with the people Justin was investigating and because Kinney moved freely on Liberty Ave, he was their best chance to opening up the drug ring, who was working the gay clubs. He stared at the report.
In his youth, Kinney was the number one stud on Liberty Avenue, but it was now five years later and the man had gone from being a drugged up, promiscuous fag, to a model citizen. He was a successful businessman and now owned Babylon himself. The drug use in that club was at an all time low. “Mmmm,” Nathan thought and continued checking, exhausting every avenue until he was sure Kinney and his company were clean. The case was cold now, with most of the players out of the scene. Brian Kinney was a still a first class asshole, but that wasn’t against the law.
********
“Hurry up, Brian,” Justin demanded.
“Don’t start or you can forget it,” Brian warned. “Happy family reunions have never been my thing,” he grumbled.
“Well it isn’t mine either,” Justin frowned. “But Mom wants me to meet this guy and if I have to suffer, you do too,” he laughed.
“I don’t remember taking any such vow,” Brian frowned. A moment later, his face lit up. “I am however open to bribes,” he grinned.
“I wouldn’t say that tonight,” Justin laughed. “If he was a friend of my uncles,” he paused. “Then he’s FBI.”
“What?” Brian threw his towel into the hamper.
“Mom said he was a friend of my uncles,” Justin explained.
“What uncle?” Brian began shaving.
“Mom’s brother, he was in a home and died a year ago.” Justin continued getting dressed.
“Why would your uncle’s friend be FBI?” Brian rolled his eyes. He failed to see the connection.
“Because my uncle was FBI. He was a big wig with the Bureau in Washington.”
“How come you never mentioned that?” Brian said suspiciously.
“Didn’t I?” Justin shrugged. “Mom said we were close when I was young, but then we lost touch.”
Great, Brian thought. Dinner with the family and a straight law enforcement type, just what he needed… what a yawn. He continued shaving. When he’d finished, Justin wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist and nibbled at the back of Brian’s neck. “Is this my bribe?” Brian raised one eyebrow.
Justin laughed. “No, you get that when we get home. We have to be there at seven.”
“Who eats at seven?” Brian grumbled as he dressed.
“My Mom,” Justin shrugged. “Besides, I told her we need to go to Babylon after.”
Brian continued grumbling all the way to Jennifer’s house. Justin rolled his eyes; his lover could be a real ass sometimes.
They knocked on the door and Jennifer greeted them, smiling. “You’re early.”
Brian glared at Justin. Early, great, now he could spend even more time in the suburbs. “Jennifer,” he smiled innocently and kissed her. “Thank you for inviting me,” he said in his sweetest voice. Mmmm, what was going on? Mother Taylor looked hot…for a woman.
Jennifer had known Brian long enough to recognize when he was being difficult. Brian was being charming which meant Justin had pissed him off about something… probably for making him come for dinner. She smiled then kissed her son. “Honey, it’s good to see you.”
“Hey Mom. What’s for dinner?” Justin said, unaffected by Brian’s antics.
“Pot roast,” she smiled.
This just got better and better, thought Brian… carbs, everything would be swimming in gravy.
She smiled at Brian. “I know it’s you’re favorite.”
Since fucking when, Brian thought. Jennifer’s pot roast was on par with Debbie’s tuna and fucking macaroni casserole…ughhh. He stopped himself. If he continued thinking this way, it would be downward spiral, ending in a fight on the way home and he wouldn’t get his bribe. Brian smiled. Justin’s payoffs were always good value. He only had to stay for a few hours and it would be over, thank god. Domesticity made his dick soft. He made himself comfortable by pouring them all drinks.
“So, who is this guy?” Justin smiled.
“He turned up at my office this afternoon,” Jennifer frowned. “He had some questions about something Uncle Grant was working on before he got sick, but we got off topic and started talking about you.”
“Me?” Justin looked at his mother quizzically.
Jennifer smiled. She would question Agent Downing later. “He knew you and your uncle were close. Apparently Grant used to talk about you,” she sighed. It was such a shame Justin had lost that part of his life after the bashing. “He was interested in your work, honey.”
“I have a show coming up,” Justin smiled.
“When?” Brian looked surprised.
“Tomorrow, I told you about it,” Justin scowled.
Brian nodded. He should try and remember these things. Justin was always disappointed when he forgot.
The doorbell rang and Jennifer rushed to answer it. Brian looked at Justin and rolled his eyes. “I’m betting this guy is not bad on the eyes,” he laughed.
Justin looked confused. He obviously hadn’t noticed his mother was dressed to the nines.
They appeared in the doorway. “These are my boys, Nathan. This is Justin and Brian, his…”
Brian stood up and cut her off. ‘Brian Kinney,” he smiled and licked his lips. Mmmm, the guy was hot. He smiled, wickedly. Jennifer would be disappointed; the man was clearly gay, a fact that was confirmed by Brian’s gaydar, which was loudly clanging in his pants.
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Nathan Downing.” He was speaking to Brian, but his attention was squarely on Justin. “So, this is the infamous Justin Taylor,” Nathan laughed. Fuck, it was five years later and the kid still looked like a kid. He barely looked of age now. Given the reading he did on Kinney, Justin would have been perfect to get close to him. Still, Grant should never have involved a member of his family.
Justin laughed. “Infamous, huh?”
“Your uncle used to speak of you often. I believe you’re an artist now,” Nate smiled. “I’d love to see some of your work.”
Brian could see Agent Gorgeous’ attention was focused on his lover. Maybe there was a way they could all enjoy this evening. “You’re in luck then. Justin has a show this weekend. You should come,” he smiled.
Justin knew what Brian was thinking. He had his hungry look on. “Yes, please come? Will you still be in town tomorrow?” He smiled.
“I’m not sure yet,” Nate replied. Justin was either the best actor in the world or…There was no other explanation. His rationale was accurate, Justin didn’t remember. Now what? He could see Kinney was watching him closely. The man had a reputation for being a fuck machine and was incredibly handsome. Brian was certainly everything he’d expected and more. Since being promoted to Assistant Director, Nathan had been very discreet in his personal dealings. Scandal was always best avoided. His position made him a target and he was always mindful of that.
“If you’re here, please come,” Justin smiled. “So, what do you do for the FBI?”
“I’m Assistant Director for Special Operations,” Nate replied.
Justin nodded, suitably impressed. “What did Uncle Grant do, Mom?”
“He was DEA honey,” she smiled. “I need to check on dinner.”
Brian rolled his eyes. Good thing he missed that part of Justin’s life, he chuckled inwardly. A few years ago, Justin’s uncle would have had a field day with his friends. He was a lot calmer in the last couple of years and ever since he’d owned Kinnetik, his youthful penchant for getting high every night, was no longer practical.
“So Brian, what do you do?” Nate asked.
“I’m in advertising,” Brian replied.
“Brian owns Kinnetik, the largest advertising agency in the Pitts,” Justin beamed, proudly.
“Advertising must be interesting,” Nathan smiled.
“So must being FBI,” Brian smiled too. He could sense Agent Gorgeous had something on his mind. The man was assessing their every comment and reaction. “I hope you like pot roast,” Brian rolled his eyes. This guy wanted something. It was only fitting he should have to suffer along with them.
Kinney was a strange one, Nate thought…but very charming. He was obviously suspicious by the way he was looking at him, strangely.
“Justin and I were going to Babylon later, you should come,” Brian smirked.
“Babylon?” Nate said innocently. He was supposed to be from out of town and not familiar with the local club scene. It was advisable to play dumb.
“It’s the hottest gay club in the Pitts,” Justin smiled.
“I may take you up on that,” Nate replied. He needed to get Justin alone to question him. If he couldn’t mange to do that here, it may be a better option when they were at the club.
Jennifer reappeared in the doorway. “Dinner’s ready,” she smiled.
All this fucking smiling was making Brian’s face hurt. He hoped this would be over soon. He had a feeling Agent Gorgeous had a cock with his name on it.
The conversation flowed easily through dinner and the time passed without event. Brian held on for as long as he could, but he wanted to get out of there. “We need to get going, Jen,” Brian said. “Dinner was great. We’re taking Nathan to Babylon with us. It would be a shame if his trip to the Pitts was uneventful,” he smiled as he looked Nathan up and down.
“Oh,” Jennifer said. She was disappointed. Why were all the handsome men always gay? “Of course, I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to meet Molly.”
“I am too,” Nate smiled. “Perhaps before I leave.” He shook Jennifer’s hand. “Dinner was wonderful, I appreciate it. As I said, I don’t get many home cooked meals.”
“If you have time, I’ll cook you another before you return home,” she smiled. Maybe he wasn’t gay after all?
“Bye Mom, I’ll call you.” Justin kissed his mother.
“Are you driving, Nate?” Brian asked.
“No, I took a taxi.”
“Then you should come with us. It isn’t far. Justin, you can ride shot gun,” he looked at Nate. “If that’s alright with you?” Brian smiled as he opened his door.
Nate stepped into the passenger seat.
When Justin sat on Nathan’s lap, he could feel their new acquaintance was hard. He smiled at Brian, knowingly. Brian leaned across and kissed Justin passionately and Justin felt Nathan get even harder. When Brian finished his kiss, he casually started the engine.
It was a short drive to Babylon, but for Nathan, it felt like forever. Having Justin sitting on his cock was doing nothing for his composure and he was relieved when they finally arrived.
Justin knew Nathan was excited, he’d wriggled around on his lap for the last fifteen minutes, to make sure. When he climbed out of the Porsche slowly, Justin watched as Nathan adjusted himself before climbing out too.
This would be difficult, Nate thought as they walked towards the entrance and once inside, he had no choice. Nathan bolted for the bathroom.
Brian move closer to Justin and slipped his arm around his lover’s waist. “I think you turned him on.”
Justin laughed. “Great cock.”
“I thought as much,” Brian smirked. “Staying all alone in a strange hotel, in a strange city, might be unnecessarily lonely. He was, after all a friend of the family. It’s our responsibility to see he has a good time while he’s here.”
Justin laughed. Brian was always fascinated by beautiful fresh meat.
Nathan jerked off in the bathroom and when he returned to his hosts, he was feeling more professional. Everything was about sex here. Brian constantly dropped sexual innuendoes and Justin was the same. The club was filled with hot sweaty men, all trying to get off. What was Grant thinking when he put his nephew in this environment?
Nathan’s experience was limited and he wasn’t sure what to do next. He’d always kept his sexuality very private… he had to. In his youth, when he played football, he was constantly surrounded by drooling girls who never appealed to him, and now, he worked for the FBI. Keeping his image intact had severely impaired his level of experience.
He could see why Justin fell into his role here. The biggest obstacle he could see was… now Justin believed this was his life and after so much time, it probably was. The chemistry between the two men was obvious and although Kinney played suave and aloof, Nathan saw him squeeze Justin’s hand a few times during dinner, just to show his support. It was sweet and not in keeping with what he’d read about Kinney. There was obviously genuine affection between them. He looked up to find Brian was leering at him again and felt his cock jump to attention. Fuck, he needed to get out of here.
“Drink Nate?” Brian smiled, as he passed him a Chivas, neat.
“Oh, um, just one and then I should be going,” Nathan replied, nervously. Brian was looking at him as if he was dinner.
Brian smiled. “All work and no play, makes Nate a very dull boy.” He slowly slid down the zipper of his intended victim and slipped his hand in the front of Nathan’s pants. After squeezing Nate’s cock a few times, he withdrew his hand and smiled. “And we can’t have that. It would be such a waste.”
Nathan couldn’t believe Brian had just done that. He’d never been exposed to anything like this before. He had a buddy in the FBI who had the same need for discretion, which kept them both off the streets, but this was out in the open. There had to be at least three hundred people here. Scandal was something he couldn’t afford. “Brian, I’m flattered but…”
“Dance with me.” Brian grabbed Nathan and pulled him onto the dance floor. It was a nice cock and he was more than interested in seeing it out of its fabric housing.
Justin watched with amusement. Trust Brian to take advantage of every opportunity. His lover considered it his mission to convert every straight man he could and gays in the closet were Brian’s personal favorite.
Brian didn’t give Nathan a chance to object. When they reached the dance floor, he wrapped his arms around Nathan’s waist and ground their cocks together, shamelessly.
Nathan held his breath and could feel his body betraying him as he melted against Brian, in defeat.
This made Brian, who never doubted his powers of persuasion for a moment, smile. He was sure this wasn’t a back room fuck. This particular cock he wanted to spend some time with. He whispered in Nate’s ear, making Nathan’s body stiffen. Brian held the obviously nervous man’s hips tightly and pressed their cocks harder together.
“Brian, I…” Nate gasped.
Brian smiled. “Let’s go.” He released Nathan and pulled him up the stairs to the overhead catwalk.
Nathan followed along, wondering where he was being taken. There was no way he could get out of this, he lied to himself. Even though Brian knew who he was, this was just a social encounter. His research had shown Brian wasn’t involved in any illegal drug activity. It wasn’t a breech of ethics, he justified as he followed Brian. Who was he kidding? Brian was leading him away to the slaughter and Nathan was so turned on, he didn’t care. He pulled Brian back and whispered nervously. “Brian, I haven’t been very active.”
Brian nodded. When Justin met them at the top of the stairs, Brian whispered something and Justin smiled.
Nate watched Justin walk away and then felt Brian pulling him along again. What just happened? Justin must have been going to join them…fuck.
Brian led his victim to the office and ushered Nathan inside. “I have a room here; it’s more private than the backroom downstairs.” He closed the door.
Nathan took another deep breath and released it slowly. “This isn’t a good idea,” he said softly.
Brian laughed. “Then what are you doing here?” It amused him that someone who had a gun on his belt was unable to say no. Besides, he was curious about Nathan’s package. He watched Nate, who was unable to answer. “Have you always been in the closet?” Brian laughed.
Nate sighed. Brian was so comfortable with his sexuality. “I played football in high school and college. Jocks aren’t supposed to be gay,” he rambled nervously. ”Then I joined the Bureau and always had to be careful about being compromised. It was easier,” Nathan shrugged.
“So, what have you done?” Brian shrugged. He didn’t get it. He was a jock and he was always gay. These guys deluded themselves. Nathan had to be in his thirties… young to hold the position he had. He wasn’t even able to verbalize his experience, Brian thought. He watched Nathan squirm for a while, and then decided to move things along. “Strip,” he ordered. “I want to look at you.” Brian sat down to enjoy the show. Curious… Nathan was obviously conflicted, but he was still here and Brian wondered why? He watched closely as Nathan slowly removed his clothing, the man’s eyes were glued to Brian’s, as he laid his clothes carefully on the wing chair behind him.
Brian smiled. Nice equipment, but he could see Nate wasn’t comfortable with who he was at all. Nathan wasn’t your average closeted straight… he didn’t appear to be very comfortable in his own skin. Pity, Brian thought, and then smiled. This might be amusing. The body was good, he thought as he licked his lips.
The way Brian was looking at him, Nathan could feel his cock getting harder. He shivered as the cold air in the room made contact with the perspiration which was beading all over his body. What was Brian waiting for? Was he supposed to beg? Brian was more than persuasive to have him standing there naked. A seventeen year old boy wouldn’t have had a chance. This was always a possibility when going undercover, but they knew who he was. This was a mistake.
Brian stood up slowly and closed the distance between them. As he passed Nathan, he took hold of Nathan’s hand. “In here?” he nodded to the next room.
Nathan followed, unsure why.
“Lie on the bed,” Brian ordered.
Nathan did as he was told. He could feel the anxiety rising inside him.
Brian took a bottle from the cupboard and walked towards the bed slowly. He opened Nathan’s legs and knelt between them. “Close your eyes.” Brian poured the oil into his hands and warmed it, before stroking it onto Nathan’s chest. This body begged to be explored.
What’s he doing? Nathan wondered. As Brian’s hands randomly wandered over him, he closed his eyes. He could feel the long slender fingers massaging his flesh. It was firm, but soothing and a small moan escaped his lips.
Brian smiled. Obviously, Nathan wasn’t used to being touched. He could feel how hungry Nathan’s body was for human contact. Unsure why he was being so patient, Brian continued to massage Nathan’s flesh, drawing it up between his fingers before releasing it, so he could repeat the movement. He extended the strokes down his companion’s legs, careful to avoid any genital contact.
For the first fifteen minutes, Nathan was nervous and uncomfortable, but now, he was enjoying Brian’s touch… it felt comforting, soothing… fan… fucking…tastic.
Brian was fascinated by Nathan’s reactions. The man was so desperate to be touched that it wasn’t sexual for him at all. By the time he was finished massaging the desperate man’s body, Nathan was almost asleep. Brian wasn’t sure if he was flattered or insulted. He wondered what a life without sex would be like. Nathan was obviously used to it. It was time to extend this man’s repertoire. Brian warmed more oil and slowly began to caress, his sleeping companion’s scrotum.
Nathan’s eyes shot open. There was terror in his eyes.
“I won’t hurt you,” Brian smiled. “Relax, there’s too much oil everywhere for us to fuck. I just want to touch you.”
Nathan wasn’t sure what was going on, but closed his eyes again. This felt so good.
Brian continued his attention to Nathan’s scrotum, before rolling the man’s testicles with his fingertips. He smiled as Nate got harder. Signs of life, he thought and was pleased. “Take deep breaths,” Brian ordered.
Nathan relaxed into the sensations. What was Brian doing to him? He was lost in the sensations Brian was producing.
Brian concentrated his efforts to the underside of Nathan’s buttocks and slid to the space between his balls and his anus.
“Mmmm,” Nathan sighed loudly when Brian found the place he was looking for. “Yes,” he moaned.
“I’m gonna touch your cock, but I don’t want you to come. When you get close, we’ll wait,” Brian said gently.
Nathan nodded. “Mmmm.”
Brian smiled as he massaged Nathan’s cock. Each time he was close, Brian stopped, moving his attention to another area until Nathan was able to continue.
Nathan had never experienced anything like this before. It was sexual, but it wasn’t … he wasn’t sure, but it was fucking fabulous. Every time he was close, Brian waited for him, until they could continue. Nathan found himself surrender to Brian’s ministrations and the case slipped easily out of his mind.
Brian was enjoying being in total control of Nathan’s body. He knew how much pleasure he was giving Nathan and was surprised at his patience tonight. He wanted Nathan to know what his body was capable of. It made Brian feel superior and omnificent. The feelings of power bubbled inside him until he felt godlike. The next time Nathan was close, Brian didn’t stop. He pressed deeper into Nathan’s perineum as he pumped faster, instead allowing his victim’s orgasm to overwhelm him.
Nate cried out as the waves of his climax moved from one orgasm to the next. When he was finally spent, his body shook for almost fifteen minutes, making Brian smile. Eventually, his breathing calmed, and Nathan opened his eyes. “What the fuck was that?” He panted.
Brian grinned and handed him the box of tissues. “Just a little game I like to play, sometimes,” he smirked. It would have been easy to just fuck Nathan, but Brian was impressed he’d resisted. It would make his time with Justin even better. He wasn’t even close during his encounter with Nathan because he was concentrating on what was possible rather than getting off. Sure he could have come, he always could, but his mind was on the bribe Justin had promised him.
Nathan sat up. “That was fantastic.”
“I know,” Brian replied smugly. “I usually only do one beginners class, but in your case I could be convinced to make an exception. Of course, if there’s a next time, Justin would need to join us.”
“How long have you been together?” Nathan asked.
“Being together’ is a subjective concept,” Brian laughed and lit a cigarette. He offered one to Nate, who shook his head. “So, what did we learn tonight?”
Nathan blushed.
Brian laughed. “There is still another lesson if you’re interested, another part of your body which warrants exploration.” He looked at the time. “But unfortunately my dance card is full for the rest of the evening.” Now he was feeling horny and wanted his main course…now he wanted Justin.
Nathan could see he was being dismissed and dressed quickly. He still needed to talk to Justin. “What gallery is displaying Justin’s work?” He asked.
Brian stubbed out his cigarette butt and walked Nate to the door. “Leave your number and I’ll ask him to call you,” he raised one eyebrow as he opened the door.
Nathan left quickly. On one level, he was happy for the opportunity to join them for another evening. Brian had made him feel things he didn’t think were possible. Nathan was feeling very mellow, his face plastered with a stupid grin. That was the best orgasm he’d ever had. Seeing Justin devouring the neck of a handsome man jolted Nathan back to reality. Had he lost his mind? Justin would be occupied for a while, so, their discussion would just have to wait until tomorrow.
********
Brian was lying on his back, panting. He grabbed Justin and pulled him down, so their lips met. “Mmmm,” he moaned softly. The knots in his stomach were gone. They kissed tenderly before Justin disengaged himself from Brian’s cock and rolled onto his back.
He lit two cigarettes and passed one to his lover.
“Mmmm,” Brian moaned again. Sex wasn’t sex without a good hit of nicotine after.
“That felt more urgent than it should have,” Justin laughed. Brian had been in the office with Nathan for almost two hours. “How was he?”
“I didn’t fuck him,” Brian replied and casually continued smoking his cigarette.
Interesting, Justin thought.
“I told him, you would need to join us next time, if there was a next time. He wants the Gallery details. I told him you’d call.”
Justin turned onto his side to face Brian. “Will there be a next time?”
“Up to you, he knows nothing,” Brian shrugged. “It’s dark in the closet.”
Justin knew now what Brian had been doing. Two hours, no wonder he was like a madman when they went to bed. Justin was curious why Brian had been so patient with Nathan. “Do you like him?” He asked.
Brian didn’t answer immediately, and then replied thoughtfully. “He wants something from us. I can’t put my finger on what, yet.”
“He might want to find out, from the master, how to be gay,” Justin suggested. He rolled on top of Brian and kissed him softly.
“Mmmm,” Brian sighed. “Then we should show him.”
********
Nathan lay in his bed reliving the memory of Brian touching him. His cock hardened again. Brian had made him feel things he didn’t know even existed. He was thirty five years old and his head was still spinning. What chance would a young, impressionable kid have had? Brian had awakened such desire in him, it was frightening. The other question in his mind was… Why would Justin ever want to give that up? It was obvious their relationship was sound and they both enjoyed the freedom to do whatever they wanted. There was no jealousy on Justin’s part when he’d left them alone. Brian wouldn’t repeat the night without Justin’s involvement, so they had a ‘once only’ rule to protect their relationship. It sounded perfect to Nathan.
He decided to check in and reached for the phone. “Jack, its Nathan… he’s alive.”
“That’s great. Bring him in.”
“There’s a problem. He doesn’t remember anything.”
“About the case?”
“That and being FBI. He was bashed and almost died, a few months in. That’s why the reports stopped. Grant was diagnosed at the same time. When Justin recovered, according to his mother, he had some memory loss. At the same time, Grant’s mind was gone too. I’ll try and talk to Justin tomorrow night. He’s an artist now and I’m going to his showing. After I do, we’ll need to talk.”
“Where are we?”
“I think he doesn’t remember a thing about going undercover. He’s settled into a life with one of the suspects.”
“What?” Jack gasped.
“Brian Kinney. I’ve run a check and he apparently has no drug involvement now. There’s evidence that he socially partakes, but nothing hard. He’s a successful businessman and his business is clean. The drug problem, we originally were investigating at the club is gone. Kinney owns it now and he runs it legit.”
“And they’re in a relationship?” Jack tried to not sound shocked. He knew Nate was gay and didn’t want to be offensive, but there was no evidence in the file that the kid was gay before he went in. His profile in the files at Quantico just said young and attractive. If the kid was living a lie, he had a right to know.
“Seems so,” Nate sighed.
“Was the kid gay before he went in?” Perhaps Nate had found out something from the mother.
“Not sure, but he’s certainly gay now,” Nathan laughed. He felt his cock harden when he remembered how Justin almost joined them and Brian’s casual remark that if there was a next time, Justin would need to be present. He knew about open gay relationships and the relationship of the two men in question, seemed solid to him.
“The club…”
“Babylon. It was owned and operated by a sleazebag,” he continued. “Gary something, but he had tax problems a few years ago, almost fled to South America and lost the club in the wash up. It was originally thought he was laundering money through the club for the mob, but when Kinney bought it, he cleaned it up. The case notes aren’t complete, so I have no way of being sure what the original enquiry was even about. If Taylor doesn’t remember, we may never know. Jack, it may be best to let this one slide.”
“Regardless, he must be told. He’s designed his life around a lie, if he wasn’t gay to begin with. The kid may not even be gay at all. He’s FBI and we take care of our own,” Jack said confidently.
“I could get Brad down here to access him,” Nathan suggested. “But Jack, Justin may never recover his memory. Is it fair to throw his life into chaos? He and Kinney appear settled.”
“Let me know what Brad thinks, but keep it ‘need to know’.” Jack was aware of Nate and Brad’s involvement, but Nathan was a professional. He wouldn’t allow anything to interfere with this case.
“I’ll call you in a few days, when I have Brad’s report and know more.” Nathan dialed the phone again. “Brad, it’s me. I’m sorry to call you at home so late, but I have an assessment for you in Pittsburgh.”
“When do you want me there?” Brad could hear by his friend’s tone, it was serious.
“Tomorrow, as early as possible, I’m at the Marriott.”
“I’ll send you my flight details. How is it there?”
“Interesting, I have a kid with memory loss. I want your opinion,” Nathan admitted.
“Is that all you want?” Brad smiled.
Nathan was surprised Brad was being so overt. “The assessment of this kid’s condition is the priority.”
“Sure,” Brad replied, uncomfortably. Nathan sounded strange. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Nathan wished he hadn’t been so short with his friend. Sex with Brad was okay, but after Brian…
********
Brian left for the office early. He was meeting a client and wanted to finalize the choices for their upcoming campaign. He set a reminder in his PDA for Justin’s show. The last thing he needed was to get caught up and forget. He’d been unfair of late. It had been busy over the last few months and more and more he’d found himself forgetting about things that were important to Justin. He felt guilty, which was the only reason he’d agreed to dinner at Jennifer’s place. Brian knew his feelings for his lover ran deep and the time he spent with Justin was always wonderful. It was difficult for him to make commitments though, even to Justin.
He knew Justin wanted to formalize their relationship, but he was a Kinney and Kinney’s were lousy at ‘happily ever after’. Look at his father. He’d been running around on his Mom for years. Brian didn’t blame him though; his mother was as cold as ice and men needed heat. Brian smiled. That would never be his problem with Justin. Sex between them was hot and passionate and Brian never doubted for a moment, that his lover would ever want to be anywhere else. His life was very different now. Justin had made him want more. The intimacy they shared was intoxicating and Brian was hooked, although he would never admit it. Justin never expected him to and he was thankful. Opening himself up to anyone was terrifying. He was afraid of being betrayed. If he finally admitted how he felt, he would be helpless and at Justin’s mercy. A situation that Brian knew he would never be comfortable with.
Brian smiled. He was already at Justin’s mercy, but by not saying it out loud, he still felt the control he so desperately needed to maintain.
********
Justin was curious about Nathan. Brian was very introspective last night. It was unusual for his lover to be intrigued by a trick and as for planning a rematch with anyone… He knocked on Nathan’s door and smiled. “Nate.”
Nathan was surprised to see Justin standing in front of him. “Justin, what are you doing here?”
Justin smiled. “Brian said you wanted to come to my show. I thought I’d give you the details, personally.” He handed a card to Nathan. “It starts at seven.”
“Thanks, I’m looking forward to seeing your work, come in,” Nathan smiled. “Oh Justin, this is a colleague, Brad Jenkins.”
Justin was surprised to find someone with Nathan. “Are you FBI as well?” He asked boldly.
Brad smiled. “You must be Grant’s nephew.”
“Did everyone know my uncle?” Justin laughed.
“Just about,” Nate chuckled. Grant was an FBI icon. “He was a good man. We were just having some lunch, join us?”
Justin grinned. He was always hungry. “Sure.”
“I was telling Brad about your accident,” Nathan smiled.
“Did my uncle talk about it?” Justin asked.
“No, your Mom told me. She was very upset.”
Justin laughed. “It wasn’t too pleasant for me either.”
“She told me it was in all the papers,” Nate continued.
“Yeah, a guy at my school didn’t appreciate when Brian came to my Prom. Afterwards in the car park, he bashed in my head with a baseball bat,” Justin sighed.
Nathan had seen the report on Justin’s bashing. The guy received a smack on the wrist, it was disgraceful. “I’m speechless. The penalties are more in line with the crime now… thank god. Brian went to your Prom?”
Justin grinned. “I wish I could remember more. They told me he danced with me. It was very romantic.”
Nathan smiled. “Brian didn’t strike me as the romantic type.”
“He is and he isn’t,” Justin smiled. “He has an image to live up to, but when it’s just us…” His voice disappeared wistfully.
Nathan had seen signs of that himself. “How long have you been together?”
“I met Brian nearly five years ago. He was the hottest stud in Liberty Avenue,” Justin smiled. “He resisted me at first, but I kept chipping away at him until he gave up. He never did repeats, but for some reason, he made an exception with me… many times. I love him with all my heart.”
“So it’s a love story,” Nathan smiled.
“Something like that,” Justin laughed. “But don’t ever say that to Brian.”
“Do you live together?”
“On and off ever since we met. I leave him periodically, but I can’t stay away for long,” Justin sighed.
“He must care about you,” Nathan smiled.
“He does, but he had a lousy childhood and he won’t commit fully. That’s Brian, I accept him for who he is.”
“Nathan told me you experienced some memory loss as a result of your bashing?” Brad interjected. “I don’t mean to pry, but I would like to ask you some questions, if you don’t mind?”
“Questions?” Justin looked at the other man at the table.
“I’m a psychiatrist,” Brad admitted. “Did you see anyone after your accident?”
“Yeah, I was in therapy for a year.”
“But you still have some memory loss?”
“They said some things would come back slowly and they did. I still don’t remember when Brian and I danced, but I do remember when Chris hit me with the bat now.”
“And your uncle?”
“Mom said we were really close when I was a kid, but I don’t remember any of it. My shrink said that section of my memory wasn’t stimulated after the accident. Uncle Grant got sick around the same time and wasn’t around,” Justin sighed.
“If you were bashed because you were gay,” Brad said slowly. “Did that affect you sexually?”
“When I first got out of the hospital, I couldn’t stand anyone to touch me,” Justin admitted. “Except for Brian, of course,” he laughed.
“So sex wasn’t a problem?” Brad asked.
“I didn’t say that,” Justin frowned. “Why are you asking me these questions?” He replied defensively.
Brad smiled. “I’m studying memory loss and its long term effects. I don’t mean to pry, but your case is very interesting.”
Justin relaxed. “It’s okay, ask away. Anything for science,” he laughed. “What did you ask me?”
“If sex with Brian was difficult,” Brad repeated.
“He was with me when I was attacked, so Brian was the only one I could stand to touch me. At first Mom blamed him for the bashing and wouldn’t let him anywhere near me, but he was the only I could stand to hold me, so Mom relented and I moved in with him.”
“What about sex?” Brad asked.
“It took a while, but that’s in the past,” Justin smiled.
Brad looked at Nathan.
“Justin, Nathan said your mother told him you left school for a while.” Brad continued.
Justin looked puzzled. “No, why would she say that? I graduated the same time as my friends.”
Brad glanced at Nathan again.
“When did she say that?” Justin asked.
“When we had lunch yesterday,” Nathan replied cautiously. He hadn’t wanted to go down this road just yet. Justin’s body language told him their discussion was over. “We were talking about your uncle.”
Justin stood up. “I should be going. It was interesting meeting you Brad. I hope what I told you helped with your research,” he said. “I have a thousand things to do before tonight.”
Nathan walked Justin out. When he returned to Brad, he sighed. “Was that necessary?”
“I wanted to see how he would react.”
“And what did his reaction tell you?”
“He has no idea. I think his therapist’s explanation is right on the money. Grant wasn’t there to stimulate that part of his memory, so it was lost. I’m interested in the sexual problems Justin was having after the bashing.”
“Why is that significant?” Nathan asked.
“It’s quite possible the problem Justin had with sex was… He wasn’t gay.”
“But he’s gay now, I’ve seen him,” Nate shrugged.
“Do anything enough times and its familiar. If that’s all you know, then it becomes part of you.”
********
Justin drove straight to his mother’s office.
“Justin,” she smiled. “Last night, today and tonight… what have I done to deserve this?” She kissed and hugged her son.
“Nathan said something that bothered me. He told me you said I left school for a while.”
“That’s right honey, you did.”
“When?” Justin gasped.
“You graduated early and went to stay with Uncle Grant for six months. I was happy you decided to go back to school before college. You were too young to leave when you did,” Jennifer sighed.
“Mom, I have no idea what you’re talking about. When?” Justin gasped again. What was she saying? He didn’t remember this at all.
Jennifer looked at her son. He genuinely didn’t remember. “Justin you graduated a year early, honey. You went to stay with Uncle Grant and wanted to join the FBI. When you came back, six months later, you couldn’t wait to go back to school. I was so relieved to have you home. It was just before you met Brian.”
“If I graduated, why did I go back?”
“You said you missed Daphne and thought you were too young. Justin I don’t understand. Don’t you remember, honey?”
Justin looked at her blankly. “I don’t remember any of that. What did I do with Uncle Grant for six months?”
“You didn’t tell me much, honey,” Jennifer admitted.
He had a past he knew nothing about. What the fuck was going on? Brian said Nathan wanted something from them and Justin trusted his lover’s instincts. “Mom, think, why did Nathan say he was here?”
“He said there were some irregularities in one of your uncle’s files, some loose ends I think he said and he was investigating.”
“And then he started asking questions about me?”
Jennifer thought for a moment. “Yes, we got off the track a little. I still don’t know what he wanted. I must call him.”
Justin frowned. The questions Brad had asked him were precise. “I’ll see you tonight, Mom.” It wasn’t random interest. The man was pumping him for information.”
“Is everything okay, honey?” Jennifer could see her son was rattled.
Justin kissed his mother and smiled. “Sure, Mom, I’m fine.” He hurried to find Daphne.
********
“Jus, what are you doing here?” Daphne gasped.
“Daph, did I leave school for six months before graduation?” Justin blurted out.
“Yeah, why? You went off with your uncle.”
“What did I do?”
“Well you did it, how should I know?” She grumbled. “You said you were going to Quantico, but when you came back, you told me it fell through.”
“Quantico,” he paused. “I wanted to be a marine?”
“No, FBI silly, like your uncle,” she laughed. “I’m still angry you didn’t write, but I forgave you when you came back.”
“How long was I gone?”
“A bit over six months, why?” She asked.
“Daph, I don’t remember that at all. I only found out today.”
“I don’t understand, Jus,” she said confused. “When did you forget? We talked about it when you came back. You wouldn’t tell me what you were doing, but you were pretty excited about it. Whatever it was, you were fit when you came home,” she laughed.
“Fit?”
“Justin you never exercised before, but when you came back, you ran every morning,” she laughed.
“And I didn’t tell you where I was?”
Daphne shook her head.
“But what about graduation?”
“When you came back, you graduated twice. You said your Dad wanted better grades for Dartmouth.”
Justin frowned.
“What’s going on?” She asked, concerned.
“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out.”
Daphne watched her friend storm off. He looked like a man on a mission.
********
Justin drove to Nathan’s hotel again.
“Justin?” Nathan said, surprised. “This is a surprise.”
“Is it?” Justin walked past him and into the room. Brian said Nathan wanted something from them and he was right. He sat down and waited for answers. “I spoke to my Mom and she has no idea what I was doing with Uncle Grant in the six months I was with him, but I think you do.”
Nathan was surprised Justin had put it together so quickly. He knew Brad had gone too far. “Justin, I um,” he hesitated.
“Cut the crap, Nathan. What’s going on?” Justin growled.
Nathan shook his head. He took something out of his briefcase and handed it to Justin.
“What’s this?” Justin frowned.
“Open it.”
Justin stared at the shield. He looked at the ID badge next to it. It was him. “What’s this?” He gasped.
“Your shield.”
“Mine?” Justin gasped again. “I don’t understand. This is FBI.”
“So are you,” Nathan said softly. He wished Brad was still here and was concerned how Justin would deal with this.
Justin looked at the badge, then at Nathan, then back at the badge again. “I don’t understand.”
“When you left with your Uncle for that six month period, you went to Quantico and graduated the Academy.”
“Then what was I doing back at school?” Justin roared.
“You were undercover on a DEA investigation. Grant was your contact.”
“This is crazy, Nathan. I don’t remember any of this. Why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”
“Grant fell ill and you had your accident at the same time, he wasn’t there to bring you in. It was deep cover and only Grant knew what you were doing. His records were poor because of his illness. He wasn’t thinking rationally when he gave you the assignment.”
“What assignment?”
“We don’t need to go into detail now.”
“Yes we do, what assignment?” Justin demanded.
“You have no memory at all about any of this?” Nathan sighed.
“None, now what assignment?” Justin insisted.
Nathan sighed again. “The details are confidential, Justin.”
Justin jumped to his feet. “I was living it. Who was I investigating?” He roared.
Nathan sat down. Justin had a right to know. “Brian was one of the people we were interested in. The notes aren’t complete, but we think you were supposed to get close to him.”
Justin’s mouth fell open. “Brian?”
“The gay clubs were over run with drugs at the time and Brian was your best ticket in, so you took it,” Nathan sighed. He reached for the file and handed it to Justin. I only have four reports from you.”
Justin looked at the file, it was his writing… Fuck. He sat back to read.
12th February 2000
I met Brian Kinney outside Babylon. It was easy. I just stood there and waited for him to come to me. The background you gave me was invaluable. He’s everything you said. I just followed his lead. He’ll be a hard nut to crack, but I will crack him eventually. I tried to arrange to meet him again, but he has some weird ass no repeats policy.
Justin looked at Nathan. “My uncle knew I was having sex with Brian?”
“Undercover, we do what we have to, to get the job done,” Nathan sighed.
Justin went back to his reading.
I’m playing the lovesick teenager. It’s the most credible ticket in. The night before last, I followed Kinney to his house and he gave me the brush off. You would have been proud of me. I cried real tears. I know he was affected. Last night, I managed to snare him again. It won’t take me long.
Justin turned to the next page.
16th March 2000
Kinney is not much of a talker. He’s a big user, but I don’t know where the junk comes from. Until I gain his confidence, I don’t expect to find out anything. He’s very private. I’m getting heaps of flack from Mom and Dad. They think my relationship with Brian is for real. I can’t tell them the truth. Try and get Mom off my back. Tell her I need space or something. Being with Brian is an essential part of this operation, it won’t work without it. I’m gaining his confidence more every day. He doesn’t realize I’m slipping under his radar. The more I’m around him; the easier it is to get closer to him. He’s obviously never had anyone chase him before. I think he’s flattered and I’ll use his vanity against him.
10th April 2000
That robbery you staged did the trick. He was furious and when I took off to New York with his credit card, he chased me. With Brian you need to give him more than one reason to chase you. He fetched me back and I’m staying with Debbie Novotny. Brian is distracted at the moment so he’s been giving me a wide berth. He had a falling out with his best friend and he hasn’t been the same since. I need to find a way to get them back together or the last few months will go down the gurgler.
4th May 2000
Still nothing on the source of the E. The clubs are full of it. The Prom is this week and for a laugh I asked Brian to take me to mine. As I expected, he declined. We’re close now, so it shouldn’t take much longer. He’s opening up more and more every day. Working at that diner, sucks. It’s so hard not to flatten someone. They pinch my butt all the time. Some days I can’t wait to get out of there, but then I remind myself that the job is all that matters, so I bite my tongue and take it. It’s a good thing I don’t need to rely on the pay from the diner. If I wasn’t earning real money, I think I’d cut my throat.
Justin looked up and stared at Nathan. “What real money?”
Nathan took a deep breath. “Since you went undercover, your wages have been mounting up. That’s how we tracked you down. You weren’t cashing your checks. They were being sent via your uncle to preserve your cover when the operation was current and ever since because Payroll thought it was long term.”
“I haven’t seen any checks,” Justin said slowly.
“They were being mailed to a post box, but when the renewal for the box fell due and Grant had passed away… all the mail was marked return to sender.”
“How much money are we talking about?” Justin’s eyes were wide.
“To date, it’s almost three hundred thousand dollars, minus the taxes.”
Justin took a deep breath. “I don’t remember and from the tone of those reports, it sounds like I didn’t even like Brian,” he paused. “I don’t believe it. I love Brian and he loves me.” He stood up and threw his identification on the sofa. “I don’t want this or the money. I want Brian.” Justin walked to the door and left.
Nathan wasn’t sure what to do.
*********
Brian was at his desk when Justin walked into his office. He looked up and smiled. “I haven’t forgotten, I was about to leave.”
Justin tore off his clothes as he closed the gap between them. When he was close enough, he grabbed Brian and devoured his mouth until they were both breathless.
Brian was taken back. It had been a long time since Justin was so exuberant. “Mmmm,” he moaned.
Justin ripped Brian’s shirt off, not bothering to undo any of the buttons. He loved Brian, he did and no one was gonna tell him any of the time he’d spent with the man he loved, was a lie. He guided Brian’s hand to his cock and undid his lover’s pants at the same time.
With his pants pushed down around his ankles, Brian didn’t need more convincing. He swept everything from his desk onto the floor and bent Justin back across it.
Justin raised his legs up onto Brian’s shoulders. “I want you close to me,” he moaned.
Brian prepared his lover quickly and then sunk into him in a single movement. “Ahhhh,” he cried out as his cock was squeezed into Justin’s tight channel.
“Fuck me,” Justin begged.
“Slow down,” Brian panted.
Justin drew up his internal muscles, squeezing Brian’s cock tightly. “I don’t want to slow down,” Justin moaned.
“Fuck Jus,” Brian groaned. He needed to slow this down or he’d come like a teenager. “Give me a minute.” Brian stilled his movements to give himself a chance to catch his breath.
“Fuck me, I need you now,” Justin persisted, reached out and grabbed Brian’s legs and wriggled back, deeper onto his lover’s cock.
“Ahhhh,” Brian cried out. What the fuck was up with Justin? They hadn’t done anything like this in years. In the early days, Justin was always dragging him into a closet somewhere. He took a deep breath and started to thrust.
“Oh yes, that’s it, fuck me,” Justin panted. He was with the man he loved and being with Brian was all that mattered.
Brian leaned forward and captured Justin’s lips. His lover had the most perfect soft mouth and Brian couldn’t resist any longer. Kissing Justin over and over was one of his guilty pleasures and fucking Justin was another. He was already so close. Justin was doing that thing he did with his muscles, the one that drove him crazy. He wouldn’t last much longer like this. Brian moaned into Justin’s mouth. “Don’t make me come too fast. I want to stay inside you.”
Justin smiled and stopped compressing Brian’s cock. He didn’t want this moment to finish too quickly either.
Brian thrust harder and deeper, relieved Justin had stopped torturing him with pleasure. They continued kissing with Justin moaning how much he loved him with every breath. Brian liked to hear the words. Justin didn’t say them often, but when he did, Brian was secretly pleased to hear how much Justin cared about him.
As Justin neared his orgasm, he was writhing against Brian, out of control. “Tell me you love me,” he gasped. “I need to hear it Brian, tell me?”
What the fuck, thought Brian. Justin had never said anything like this to him before. Sure, occasionally Justin said it, but he never asked him to confirm it. Brian looked into Justin’s pleading eyes.
“Please Brian; I need you to say it,” Justin begged.
Brian could see the tears welling in the corners of his lover’s eyes. What the fuck was wrong?
“Even if you don’t mean it, lie to me,” Justin begged. “I need to hear the words.”
Justin had never begged for anything from him before. Something was wrong. Brian held his lover tightly. Suddenly he wasn’t as close anymore. He stopped thrusting and held Justin even tighter.
“Don’t stop Brian, make love to me. Show me how you feel about me,” Justin cried.
“Hey,” Brian said gently. “What’s wrong?” He'd never seen Justin so out of control.
“Do you even care about me at all?” Justin sobbed.
“You are the man who shares my bed. I come home to you every night and I wake up with you every morning,” Brian whispered.
“Am I any more than a live in trick?”
Brian was hurt. Of course his lover wasn’t a trick. He could feel Justin’s tears falling against the side of his face. What the fuck was this? It wasn’t a ploy, Justin was too upset. Brian took a deep breath. Justin obviously needed for him to say it. “I love you,” he murmured into Justin’s ear.
Justin stopped crying. “Is it me or is it this?” He clenched Brian tightly, making him cry out.
“Ahhhhhh,” Brian moaned. “Both.”
“Tell me again,” Justin demanded as he squeezed Brian’s cock inside him as hard as he could.
“I love you, Jus,” Brian groaned, this time louder.
They came to the words tumbling freely from both their lips and held each other tightly, as their bodies shook. When his breathing calmed, Brian looked into his partner’s eyes. “Declarations aside,” he smiled. “What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Justin replied in a little voice.
“I haven’t heard that little voice for a long time,” Brian laughed. “Are you alright?”
Justin nodded. “I just need you to hold me.”
Brian held Justin tightly again. Justin obviously didn’t want to tell him what was on his mind. He’d need to wait until his lover was ready to talk. Suddenly, Brian was afraid. Justin couldn’t be sick, could he? No, Justin was always careful. Was it his Mom or Molly? He’d question Jen tonight at the opening. “As much as I would love to stay here and continue this… Aren’t we supposed to be somewhere at seven?”
“I guess,” Justin whispered. He didn’t need to worry about a career, he already had one. He was FBI. Justin was determined Brian never find out any of the nonsense he’d heard this afternoon. How would Brian ever trust him again? He’d infiltrated himself into Brian’s life, deceived the man he loved into thinking he cared about him. What sort of person was he then? How could he do something like that? Brian trusted him and would never betray him the way he’d betrayed Brian. No, Brian could never know about this…not ever. “We should get dressed.”
“Someone tore off my shirt,” Brian laughed. “You were hot this afternoon, Mr. Taylor.”
“I’m always hot for you,” Justin smiled.
Brian slipped his jacket over his bare shoulders and pulled up his pants. “I need to go home and change now.” He raised one eyebrow and thrust his tongue into the side of his mouth.
“You look hot just the way you are,” Justin smiled.
“Yes, but your mother will be there tonight and Debbie and I think I need a shirt,” Brian laughed. “Come on, we should hurry, we’ll be late.” It was almost seven now and they still needed to change.
“We don’t have to go,” Justin paused. “We could just stay home.”
“No way,” Brian laughed. “You worked hard for this and we’re going.” He slipped his arm around Justin’s waist and they walked to the ‘vette.
********
Jennifer walked towards Nathan, smiling. “Nathan, I’m glad you came. Have you seen Justin?”
“He hasn’t arrived yet,” Nathan said cautiously. Jennifer looked rattled.
“I’m worried about him. I saw him this afternoon and he was acting strangely and he’s not normally late.”
“Strangely?” Nathan tried to sound surprised.
“He was asking me about the time he spent with Grant. He doesn’t remember.”
“I wouldn’t worry, Jennifer,” Nathan lied. “Justin must have his reasons. I’m sure he’ll discuss them with you when he’s ready.”
Jennifer nodded. “You’re right. It always takes Justin time to process things. Oh look… here they are,” she smiled.
Nathan looked in the direction Jennifer was nodding. Justin was holding Brian’s hand for dear life and avoided his eyes, even though Brian smiled.
“Your Mom and Nathan,” Brian nodded to his partner.
Justin frowned. What was he doing here?
“Do you need to mingle?” Brian squeezed his hand to show Justin his support.
“No, I want to speak to Nathan for a moment. Will you keep Mom busy?” Justin kissed his lover softly on the cheek.
“Lead on, but I’ll expect to be rewarded when we get home,” Brian laughed.
“When weren’t you rewarded?” Justin smiled.
Brian leaned in close and whispered. “That’s one of the reasons I love you.”
Justin stopped dead. Brian telling him he loved him while they were fucking was one thing, but here, in the open and for no reason. His face exploded into a smile, which lit up the room.
“I thought you wanted a word with Nathan,” Brian smiled and pulled Justin along. He knew how happy he’d just made his partner. Now he’d said it a few times, and at the top of his lungs, the words didn’t seem to catch in his throat as they once had. He did love Justin and although Brian didn’t feel compelled to announce it to everyone, Justin had a right to hear his commitment. They’d been together five years and the only times they’d been apart were the times Justin wanted to hear the three little words he always found so difficult to say. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. Brian wanted Justin with him, always.
“Jen,” Brian smiled and kissed her.
“You are both looking very handsome tonight,” she smiled as she kissed her son.
“Nathan,” Justin nodded. “I wanted to show you one of my pieces, it’s this way.”
Brian stopped Jennifer from following them. “Is Justin okay?” She asked.
“Why?” Brian asked suspiciously.
“I saw him this afternoon and he was upset,” she sighed.
“What happened?” Brian asked, concerned.
“He was questioning me about the time he left school early and went off with his uncle.”
“When was that?” Brian looked puzzled. He couldn’t remember anything about Justin leaving school early.
“It was before you both met,” she replied. “Justin graduated a year early and went off with Grant for six months.”
“But I went to his Prom,” Brian stammered. Thinking about the Prom always made him shaky.
“No, before. He came back from Washington and went back to school again, to increase his grades for Dartmouth. You met him after he came back. Justin couldn’t remember and it upset him.”
Brian wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “Justin graduated twice?”
Jennifer nodded. “I was just happy he gave up on the FBI.”
“FBI?” Brian gasped.
“Yes, I can’t believe this hasn’t come up before,” Jennifer shook her head. “And I can’t believe he doesn’t remember. Justin’s marks were high and they let him graduate early, so he could go to Quantico. Against my advice,” she frowned. “He left with Grant, but when he came back six months later, he said he wanted to go back to school. I was grateful he’d given up on his dream. My mother was always a nervous wreck worrying about Grant, always worrying whether he was safe.”
“And he was gone for six months?” Brian said slowly. Was this what Justin was so upset about?
Jennifer nodded. “It must be from the bashing,” she sighed. “The therapist he was seeing said because Grant wasn’t around while he was recovering, Justin’s memory wasn’t stimulated about his uncle. I had no idea, he lost a section of his youth as well,” she sighed again.
Brian patted her arm. “Try not to worry. I asked Justin why he was upset this afternoon and he wouldn’t tell me. I’m assuming he will when he’s ready, but until then, it’s probably better if he doesn’t know you told me.”
Jennifer hugged Brian. “You’re right.”
Brian forced a smile. “I always am.”
********
“What are you doing here?” Justin demanded.
“You invited me,” Nathan replied.
“That was before. If you say one word about any of this to Brian, as soon as I get my gun back, I’ll shoot you,” he warned.
“Do you remember something?” Nathan asked, excited.
“No, but I’m sure if I’m FBI that I have a gun somewhere… and know how to use it,” Justin scowled.
Nathan tried to hide the smile. “I won’t tell him anything. It’s an active case.”
“You don’t think Brian is linked to drugs and money laundering, do you?” Justin gasped.
Nathan shook his head. “I checked him out, he’s clean.”
“Of course he is,” Justin growled. “What the fuck were you doing with him the other night? That wasn’t very professional.”
“I ruled Brian out as a suspect and we had a casual encounter. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Except he’s my lover,” Justin grumbled. “I want you gone.’’
“Won’t my disappearance just make him ask questions?” Nathan shrugged.
“Yes,” Justin frowned. Brian would be suspicious if Nathan took off. “I mean it, Nate; promise me you won’t say anything?”
“I promise,” Nathan smiled. “But, you’ll need to meet with Brad again to see if he can stimulate your memory.”
“I don’t want my memory stimulated,” Justin scowled.
“You have no choice. You are a government employee on medical leave, you must undergo treatment….”
“You can shove the government…”
“Brian,” Nathan smiled.
Brian slipped his arms around his lover. “So, what do you think?”
Both Nathan and Justin froze.
Brian could see he’d interrupted something. “He’s very talented, isn’t he?” Brian smiled.
Nathan smiled. “Yes, I’m impressed. I’m sure we’ll be seeing your work all over very soon, Justin.”
Justin nodded and said meekly. “I need to mingle a bit.”
“Nathan and I can catch up for a while,” Brian smiled.
“No,” Justin said quickly. “I want you to meet some people.”
“Of course,” Brian smiled. It was obvious Justin didn’t want him anywhere near Nathan. “Could you excuse us?”
Nathan nodded. He made his excuses to Jennifer and got the hell out of Dodge.
Brian saw Nathan make a hasty exit. Whatever they were hiding, he was determined to know what was going on. What had upset Justin so much this afternoon? He’d never seen his lover that way and now Jennifer told him Justin was gone for six months and had no idea where he’d been. Brian chatted politely to everyone Justin introduced him to, noting his lover had never dragged him around at one of these things before. Justin was confident about his work… normally. Tonight, his lover was like a small child who needed his hand held. The night was long and tedious, but Brian held it together a lot better than Justin had. By eleven, Justin looked wiped. Brian held him tightly from behind and whispered in his ear. “Are we finished?” He’d schmoozed every person in the room, they had to be done by now.
Justin smiled. Brian had been wonderful tonight. “Yes, we’re done, let’s go home.”
Brian smiled. He wanted to feel Justin’s bare skin on his.
********
Brian woke to find Justin asleep on his chest. He smiled and looked at the clock. It was only six. When he rolled Justin onto his back, Justin opened his eyes. “Where are you going?” He mumbled in his sleep.
“I have an early meeting, but I shouldn’t be long.” Brian kissed his lover softly. “I may even be back before you wake up,” he smiled. “If you wait here for me, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
“No problem,” Justin mumbled and was instantly asleep again.
Brian kissed him on the forehead and dressed quickly. He had a call to make and hurried down to the street to use the pay phone. “Arty, it’s Bri. Yes I know it’s been a long time. I need a favor. I want a check on a Justin Taylor, yes, my Justin. I met him in February of 2000. I know he was in school at St James Academy in 1998/99, but I want to know what he was doing in 99/2000. His uncle was Grant Newborn, apparently DEA. This stays between us Arty, okay?” He had enough on Arty to keep him in line, but he wanted his unsavory friend to remember that. “Let me know, yeah, on my cell, but call me from a pay phone.”
If anyone could find out, it was Arty. He was the best hacker around. Brian parked in the visitor’s parking of the Marriot and went up in the elevator. He stood with a clear view of the front desk and dialed. “I’d like to leave a message for Nathan Downing. It’s early and I don’t want to disturb him. It’s Ben Arnold and I can’t meet him for racquetball today. Thank you.” He closed his cell and watched to see in which pigeon hole the message was placed. Hmmm, Brian smiled, 1407. He took the elevator to the fourteenth floor and knocked on the door.
“Brian?” Nathan gasped, as he opened it.
Brian smiled. “I thought we were getting together after Justin‘s show. We looked for you, but you’d left.” He moved past Nathan, but lingered in the doorway.
“I had some work to do,” Nathan said nervously.
Brian turned and smirked before pulling Nathan close and kicking the door closed with his foot.
“Brian… I….”
“I intended to continue our lessons,” Brian smiled. Just because Nathan was hiding something from him, didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun. Nathan looked terrified. He pressed their lips together, softly at first, until he felt Nate relax in his arms. As Brian continued his kisses, he slipped Nathan’s robe from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He paused, so Nathan could realize he was naked.
Nate opened his eyes, startled. “Brian, this probably isn’t the best idea at the moment,” he said nervously.
“Mmmm,” Brian moaned. “This is always a good idea. Where’s the bedroom?” He walked Nathan backwards through the door, ignoring his protests and pushed him onto the bed, before crawling on top of Nathan and capturing his victim’s lips again.
Nathan knew he should have said ‘no’, but there was something about Brian, he couldn’t say ‘no’ to. When Brian slid down his body and took his cock in his mouth, Nathan melted onto the bed.
Brian licked and flicked and sucked until Nathan was a quivering pile of goose flesh. He brought him to the brink, over and over, not allowing him to come until Nate was begging for release. “You want to come?” Brian teased.
“Please Brian,” Nate panted.
Brian pulled the lube from his pocket and increased his efforts, but as Nathan came, Brian slipped a finger inside him.
Nathan’s eyes shot open, but with his orgasm already in progress, he didn’t want Brian to stop sucking him dry. He tried to stop writhing against Brian’s hand, but he couldn’t. Every time Brian touched him, he couldn’t think straight.
Brian smiled. He was bending the one fuck rule, but not breaking it. This was his one fuck. Besides, it couldn’t hurt for Nathan to be vulnerable to him. He wanted answers and wanted to be sure to get the right ones. Brian knew Nathan wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to him. “Have you ever bottomed before?” Brian asked as Nate pressed against his hand.
Nathan shook his head. He’d topped Brad once, but most of the time, they just sucked each other off.
Brian inserted another finger and waited.
“It stings,” Nate panted.
“Slow down and wait,” Brian said gently. When he felt Nate loosen, he began to move his fingers in and out.
“Fuck,” Nathan gasped.
“Do you want me to stop?” Brian smiled.
“Christ, don’t stop,” Nathan moaned and closed his eyes again.
“I wanna fuck you,” Brian sighed and nuzzled Nate’s neck. He was more turned on than he expected to be. Virgin asses were always his weakness. Brian made sure Nathan was loose… very loose. He didn’t want to have to wait. He continued for another five minutes and then withdrew his fingers.
Nathan opened his eyes, wondering why the wonderful feelings had stopped.
“Turn over,” Brian ordered as he stepped out of his sweats. His cock was hard and leaking pre come, as he sheathed up and covered the condom in lube. “I want you to take a deep breath and hold it,” Brian moaned as he moved into position and worked the head of his cock into Nathan’s entry.
Nathan could feel why Brian told him to hold his breath. Fuck, he was huge. Brian slid partially inside him, causing Nathan to cry out. ”Fuck.”
Brian smiled. “Just what I was intending to do.” He waited patiently, and then whispered. “Bear down for me.”
Nathan was overwhelmed by Brian’s size and dropped his elbows to the mattress. He wasn’t sure he could do this.
“I said, bear down,” Brian ordered.
Nathan did as he was told and cried out again as Brian slid completely inside him this time. He’d thought it was full before, but now he couldn’t breathe. “Wait,” he gasped.
Brian blanketed Nathan’s body and kissed his neck softly. “Keep breathing, just relax,” he coaxed. “I won’t move till you’re ready.”
“It hurts,” Nathan sighed.
“That’s part of it.” Brian reached under Nathan and took hold of his cock.
“Fuck,” Nate moaned.
Brian whispered into his ear. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard and so long that any time anyone is inside you, you’ll always think of me.” He rolled Nathan’s cock with his fingers.
The pressure was incredible. Nathan could feel Brian’s cock pulsing and the pain disappeared for a moment until Brian began to move. The pain tore through him again, but when it disappeared, a few moments later, the most amazing sensations swept through him. “Oh god,” Nate moaned.
“No pain?”
Nate shook his head. “Fuck me.”
Brian closed his eyes, as he slid in and out of his companion. This was one hell of a tight virgin ass and he was enjoying every minute of it. He intended to fuck Nathan into the mattress and kept his rhythm steady to that end. When Nate was loose enough for Brian to be creative, he thrust deeper. On each thrust, he slid in and out completely. Nathan was lost and rambling now and Brian knew this ass was his. He thrust in harder making Nate cry out for more and when he angled his thrusts to collect Nathan’s prostate, Brian felt Nate catapult into his orgasm, taking him over the edge as well. “Ahhhhhhh.” He grabbed Nathan tightly and rode the waves of their orgasms, together.
When their bodies stilled, Brian smiled. “So now you know what it’s supposed to feel like, I’m guessing you’ll be reticent to deprive yourself quite so much,” he laughed. Brian disengaged his cock and removed the condom. He tied it off, slipped on his sweats, and shoved the evidence into the pocket. Loose ends were always better disposed of.
Nathan had barely moved. He never doubted it would be magnificent. Every time Brian touched him, he just lost it. His body was aching, but in the nicest possible way.
Brian smiled at Nate, who was still lying with his head on his arms and with his ass in the air. He rolled him over and straightened out his legs. “Is that better?” He laughed.
Nathan opened his eyes. “Much,” he smiled. “Again?”
Brian laughed. “One fuck per customer, it’s the law and we can’t break any laws, can we?”
Nathan laughed too. “I guess not.”
“So my part of your education is complete,” he smiled. “If you need to work on your fucking, you’ll need to ask Justin for his help.”
Nathan felt his breath catch, but didn’t respond.
Brian saw the hesitation. “We could always both instruct you, if you brought along a friend,” he laughed. Brian’s cell began to ring and he shoved his hand into his pocket to retrieve it. He tapped Nathan on the leg. “Get dressed, we need to talk.” Brian answered his phone and walked out into the other room. “What have you got?”
He listened carefully, his eyes getting wider with each passing minute. Brian glanced at the bedroom door. What was taking Nate so long? “Thanks Arty,” Brian sighed. “Remember, just between you and me. I owe you.” He closed his cell and walked to the door, Nathan was still lying on the bed. “We need to talk now, get dressed,” Brian ordered.
Nathan jumped up and pulled on some sweats. There was something in Brian’s tone that said…move your ass. He walked sheepishly out into the living room, but when he looked at Brian, he felt the urge to run. Nathan took a deep breath and sat on the sofa beside his angry friend. “You wanted to talk?”
“I have one question,” Brian said the words slowly.
Nathan waited.
“Who did you send him in after?” Brian eyes were flashing and he wasn’t mucking about.
Shit, he knows… Nathan held his breath.
“Do I get an answer?” Brian roared.
“I didn’t send him, it was Grant,” Nathan sighed.
“Who was he watching?”
“They wanted to know about the drugs in the gay clubs, it was DEA.”
“So Justin got rid of Gary?”
“No, that schmuck did that all by himself. They got him for tax evasion,” Nathan sighed. “Justin had nothing to do with it.”
“I run a clean club,” Brian scowled.
“I know you do, Kinnetik is clean too. I wouldn’t have been with you, if you were a suspect.”
“So, all this time with Justin has all been a lie,” Brian growled.
There was no benefit in destroying Justin’s relationship. “Don’t you get it? Everything isn’t about you. Justin was sent in by his uncle, he was just a kid. It was a mistake, but it happened. We can’t change that. When he was bashed, he lost it all. He remembers nothing. The only reason we even found out he existed was when the renewal for Grant’s post box fell due. When it was unpaid, after he died, all Justin’s checks for the last five years were returned. It ended up on my desk to investigate.”
“And he knows now?”
“He found out yesterday.”
“Why didn’t he tell me?” Brian looked confused.
“Your ego is monumental, poor fucking you, what about him?” He’s terrified of losing you. You are such an egotistical ass. He probably is terrified you would assume it was about you and not want him anymore,” Nathan snapped. He felt sorry for Justin. The kid had made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the FBI or the money. He just wanted to be with the man he loved.
Brian took a deep breath and sat back. “So he was never watching me?”
“Not more than he was watching anyone else,” Nathan growled. “I’m an assistant director of the FBI and I couldn’t say ‘no’ to you, what hope did a fucking seventeen year old boy have? He’s so in love with you, he can’t think straight,” Nathan paused. “I understand how he got caught up.”
Brian frowned. “You know it was just sex with us, don’t you, Nate?”
“I know that, asshole,” Nathan laughed. “Don’t be too hard on him. Justin remembers nothing. He has no memory of Grant or Quantico or what he was doing undercover, nothing. I introduced him to Brad Jenkins, an FBI shrink, yesterday. Justin’s a smart kid. He worked out something was going on by Brad’s questions and went after his mother for details. By the time he got back here, he’d put two and two together and gotten four.”
“Have you got any Bourbon?” Brian sighed.
“It’s eight o’clock in the morning,” Nathan gasped. He stood up and poured them both a drink. They needed it.
“So what now, is it over?” Brian asked. His mind was racing.
“I want to say yes, but ‘no’.”
“Well, as I said, what now?” Brian persisted.
“Justin is FBI, whether he wants to be or not, and while he’s Bureau…” Nathan paused.
“What?” Brian waited.
“They are concerned that it was only his involvement with you… um… because he doesn’t remember anything…” Fuck, there was no way to say this but straight out. “They’re worried he isn’t really gay.”
Brian laughed. “You’re shitting me.”
“Look, I wondered the same thing myself in the beginning, but I’ve seen the two of you together,” Nathan sighed.
“They can’t make him straight,” Brian frowned.
“They can hospitalize him for treatment. Brad has put him on extended sick leave. The Bureau takes care of its own, whether you want help or not.”
“Can’t you do something? Justin’s gay, Nate… you must be able to do something?” Brian was feeling panicked… hospitalize him?
“It isn’t up to me, Brian. The final decision is Brad’s and he’s not convinced. He thinks Justin fell into his cover and he’s been in it so long… he got lost and doesn’t know any other way now,” Nathan shook his head. “I know you love him, but it may not be enough,” he sighed.
“Did Justin say he wanted to be FBI again?” Brian asked softly.
“He told me to shove it, he only wanted you.”
Brian smiled. “Can’t he be gay and FBI?”
“Only discreetly,” Nathan laughed. “If he wants to be a Director, that is,” he muttered under his breath.
Brian smiled. There had to be an answer. He couldn’t let anyone take Justin away from him. “Does anyone know about you and me?”
“Only Justin, that first time, why?”
“Perhaps, if your shrink saw Justin, up close and personal?”
Nathan frowned. “It’s obvious when the two of you are together; you have feelings for each other.”
“It is?” Brian seemed surprised.
Nathan rolled his eyes.
“Justin stalks his prey every bit the same as I do,” Brian laughed. “He may be soft with me, but with a trick… that’s a whole different ball game. Besides, he fucked his friend Daphne and she can testify how lack luster that was. Justin said it was okay, but ordinary and he loves her,” Brian laughed.
“I’ll give it some thought,” Nathan smiled. “You should really shower before you go home.”
Brian laughed. “Is this your attempt at having your way with me again?”
“You have a once only rule, right?”
“That’s it,” Brian smiled.
Nathan stood up and pulled Brian to his feet. “I’ll bear that in mind,” he laughed. “Come on.”
Brian followed Nate into the bathroom. “You aren’t fucking me, you know. I don’t bottom for anyone,” he smiled.
“Anyone?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Brian laughed. “That leaves you with sucking me off. Can you manage that?”
Nathan smiled. “That I can do.”
********
Justin wondered when Brian would be back. It was almost eleven thirty when he heard the door of the loft slide open.
“Honey, I’m home,” Brian called out as he walked up the stairs.
“You were a long time.”
“I stopped at the Marriott after my meeting and fucked Nate,” Brian said casually.
Justin blinked in disbelief. He threw back the duvet and stalked into the bathroom without a word.
“Mmmm,” Brian smiled. Justin was jealous. He hadn’t seen his lover jealous in years. He took off his clothes and followed Justin into the shower. He picked up the soap and began to lather his lover’s back. In the shower with Nate, he’d felt like something different. Nate had lingered at his opening and it had driven Brian crazy. He wasn’t about to let Nate fuck him, but Justin, that was something else entirely. He spun Justin around to face him and lathered up his lover’s hands. He could tell Justin was still angry, but he could work with that.
Justin was surprised when Brian directed his soapy fingers past his cock and directly to his entry. His anger dissipated instantly and Justin smiled. “Horny?”
“Very,” Brian smirked. “But, for something very particular.”
Justin slid one soapy finger into his lover. “Does it start off like this?”
Brian closed his eyes. “Mmmm,” he moaned softly. “Just like that.”
Justin withdrew his finger and spun Brian around to face the taps.
Brian griped them tightly and leaned forward.
Justin quickly found his place again and in no time Brian was writhing back against his hand. He whispered into Brian’s ear. “Is this a full service fuck, Mr. Kinney?” as he wriggled his fingers inside his lover.
“Ahuh,” Brian moaned. He’d been thinking about this while Nate sucked him off. His sweet little Justin was a big, bad, FBI agent. Hmmmm, this had possibilities. What a turn on? He reached behind and grabbed Justin’s cock. Brian was pleased Justin was so hard. When he heard Justin tear open the foil packet, Brian shook his head. “Not this time,” he moaned.
Justin wasn’t sure he’d heard his lover correctly. “Brian?”
“I said, not this time. I’ve never barebacked with a G-man before,” Brian moaned.
“A what?” Justin gasped.
“You heard me. Now, if you freak out, you’ll spoil it, so shut up and fuck me,” Brian demanded.
Justin took a deep breath. Brian knew and he wasn’t bothered. In fact Brian was more turned on than he normally was and for Brian that was some feat. Justin lubed up his cock and moved into position. As he pushed inside his lover, Brian almost pulled him in.
“Oh yeah,” Brian groaned. The burn was delicious and he pressed back hard against his lover.
Justin grabbed one of Brian’s arms and pulled it up his back, roughly. “You want something official, do you?”
“Uhuh,” Brian moaned.
Justin slammed into Brian hard again. It was difficult to concentrate without the latex. It was so much more intense. Brian was happily fanaticizing and Justin was eager to assist. “Will I punish your perfect little hole?”
“Mmmm,” Brian panted as Justin slammed into him again and again.
“Are you innocent or guilty?”
“Guilty, I’m so guilty,” Brian cried out and reached for his cock, but Justin pushed his hand away.
“No parole for you, we do this the hard way,” Justin laughed and pulled out.
“Fuck, Jus; don’t stop,” Brian begged.
Justin smiled. “On your knees, we can’t let you cheat, can we? I think this time I want to be a prison guard and I’m gonna fuck you until you pass out.”
“That sounds good too,” Brian moaned as he dropped to his knees.
Justin knelt behind Brian and entered his lover quickly, making him cry out again. Justin didn’t stop. He fucked Brian over and over, both men seemingly with a new capacity to wait. This fantasy thing was hot and being inside Brian without the latex was even better. As Brian writhed beneath him, Justin found himself losing control, so much so that he grabbed Brian’s cock and jerked him of, all the time warning him how severe his punishment would be the next time he was bad.
“Ahhhahahahahaha,” Brian cried as he came, pushing Justin over the edge, so he shot his load deep inside his quivering lover. Justin held him tightly as Brian murmured. “Mmmmm, that was so hot.”
“Do you mind much?” Justin asked softly as he nuzzled Brian’s ear.
“When do you get your gun back?” Brian smiled.
*******
Brian insisted Justin arrest him again and who was Justin to refuse. He made Brian promise he wouldn’t be angry tomorrow when he couldn’t walk and after he agreed, Brian told him to shut up and fuck him again. Being FBI mightn’t be so bad after all, Justin thought. The money would certainly beat being a starving artist. He already had enough held in trust to make him comfortable in his own right. Eventually they made it to the bed and by then, Brian’s ass was so sore, he was incapable of doing any fucking at all.
Justin held his lover while he slept, knowing Brian was exhausted. He wondered what Brian had done to Nathan to make him spill the beans. Poor Nate, Brian must have fucked him into submission. Justin smiled. his lover was so turned on, when he came home, and thinking about it was making Justin hard all over again. He looked at the sleeping man beside him. Did he dare? Brian was lying across the bed anyway. He wouldn’t need to move him much. Justin retrieved the cream from the bathroom, the one he used, when his ass was on fire and coated his dick thickly. He dipped his fingers into the jar again and slid two into the sleeping man beside him.
Brian moaned. It felt cold, but good. He was so tired and already stretched from their previous games; Brian refused to open his eyes as Justin pulled him to the end of the bed and used his hips to guide Brian back onto his cock. “Fucking hell,” Brian gasped as Justin slid completely inside him. “Will you stop fucking me?” He whimpered.
“Now?” Justin laughed.
“No, after this,” Brian moaned. “Why is it so cold?”
“There’s about half a gallon of cream inside you,” Justin grinned as he continued thrusting. “Fuck this is good.”
“Mmmm, it is. Harder?” Brian moaned, softly.
Justin rammed Brian against him hard. He kept sliding Brian on and off his cock… this was terrific, he thought as he changed the angle.
“Fuck,” Brian cried out as Justin pounded his prostate. Justin had fucked him many times over the years, but so far tonight, his rough count was four or was it was five, fuck. Brian tumbled into his orgasm again with Justin not far behind him. This time his body was too sore to shake and he lay groaning, satisfied, but unable to move a muscle.
Justin could see Brian was past exhaustion and pulled out slowly. The sheets were a mess, but Brian was far too tired to be moved. Justin cuddled in beside his lover, whispering in his ear “Sleep, baby, I love you.”
Brian managed half a smile before collapsing.
*******
The rest of that day and the next, Brian spent at home. Fantasy always got him into trouble… regardless of how much he enjoyed it. Justin was particularly guilty, knowing it was that last glorious fuck that had done all the damage. Brian was glad his lover was in as much pain as he was. Justin waited on him hand and foot and when he started feeling better, Brian couldn’t help but enjoy that too.
They were lying on the sofa watching a DVD when Brian felt Justin kiss his ear softly. He smiled, but when the kisses became more fervent, Brian pulled away and frowned. “Not on your life Roy Rodgers.”
Justin smiled. “I love you.”
“That’s nice, but in this situation,” he paused. “That won’t even get you a set of steak knives,” Brian frowned again. They still hadn’t discussed the FBI revelation… it was time. “What are you gonna do about Nathan?”
“I don’t remember any of it, Brian. I don’t know what I can do,” Justin sighed.
“Nathan said you have to see some guy called Brad,” Brian said softly.
“No way, he’s an asshole,” Justin growled.
Brian rolled his eyes. Justin could be stubborn if he was scared. “Whether you want to or not, you must talk to this Brad character,” he said softly. ”Nate told me he has the power to hospitalize you. He’s the one we need to convince that you’re gay.”
“I have rights,” Justin growled. “I’m not justifying to anyone who I am. If I’m forced to, I’ll go to the papers.”
“Great, then we can see our private lives in print,” Brian sighed and pulled his lover closer.
“Well what do you think I should do?” Justin said, impatiently. “He’s suggesting I’m only gay because I’ve been with you for the last five years.”
Brian took a deep breath. It wasn’t something he wasn’t happy about, but it needed to be said. “If you hadn’t met me… are you positive you would have been gay?”
Justin stared at Brian in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just asked me that,” he growled.
Brian growled too. “And I can’t believe circumstances dictated that I needed to.”
Justin buried his face into the side of Brian’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
Brian wrapped his arms around his partner and held him tightly. He could feel Justin’s pain. It was something they’d shared before after the bashing. “You haven’t done anything wrong. We’ll deal with this together,” he tried to reassure his lover. Brian had always felt responsible for Justin’s injuries after the Prom. If he’d been a little faster, been more aware, less caught up in what he wanted to perceive and more on top of what was actually happening, perhaps he could have spared Justin this pain. Over the years, Brian had relived that particular nightmare, over and over again. It was the first in a series of moments that followed, where he’d felt the helplessness of his youth all over again. Brian knew Justin was scared and although he would never admit it, so was he.
Justin lifted his head slightly and nodded. “I really love you, you know?”
Brian pulled Justin close and kissed the hair on the top of his lover’s head. He whispered softly. “I know you do, I love you too.”
********
Jennifer wondered why she’d been summoned to the loft. It wasn’t a place she and her son usually met. She pressed the buzzer and announced her arrival through the intercom, before hurrying up the stairs.
Justin waited at the door for his mother. He’d asked Daphne to join them later, but wanted to discuss his problem with his mom in private first. “Mom,” he smiled as she appeared.
As much as she enjoyed seeing her son, Jennifer Taylor knew something was very wrong. “Hello honey,” she kissed him on the cheek. She noticed Brian was milling around in the background and smiled nervously. What was going on here?
“Come and sit down, Mom, I have something to discuss with you,” Justin said solemnly.
Jennifer sat on the sofa and waited. Justin looked at Brian for support and he was at her son’s side in an instant.
“Mom, I found out what I was doing when I went away with Uncle Grant.”
“That’s wonderful honey, what?” Jennifer felt relieved. The day Justin had questioned her, she was sure he didn’t believe her.
“I went to Quantico and joined the FBI.”
Jennifer’s mouth fell open. She tried to speak, but no words came out. It was almost five minutes before she stammered. “You what? No, honey, you said you’d given up on that. You said you wanted to go back to school, Jus,” she stammered again.
“Mom, it’s true. Nathan is here looking for me. I’m the loose end and the missing information in the files.”
“That can’t be right.” Jennifer could feel her heart pounding…no, not her baby.
“It is, Mom, there’s no doubt. I graduated Quantico and Uncle Grant gave me a case. That’s why I went back to school. It was a cover.”
“Why did you need to be a school boy?”
Justin didn’t answer; he wasn’t sure what to say.
Why wasn’t Justin talking? She glanced at Brian. Did he know what was going on?
“They thought it would be easier for him to investigate if he looked young and inexperienced,” Brian said softly.
Suddenly she understood. Her face turned red with fury. “What was the case?”
“To investigate the drug scene in the gay clubs on Liberty Avenue,” Justin said quietly.
“And if you were young….” She couldn’t continue. Grant had pimped her son. If he wasn’t already dead, she would have killed him herself.
“They thought I would be less suspicious,” Justin sighed. “There is an FBI doctor who is questioning if I’m gay. I need your help, Mom.”
Images of her son doing god knows what, became brighter in her mind. Jennifer glared at Brian. “They picked him to get close to you, didn’t they?”
Brian froze.
“Mom, no,” Justin replied quickly, but it was too late.
Brian looked at Justin. “Are you sure?” He wanted Justin to say it. When Nathan assured him it wasn’t about him, Brian had his doubts. Nathan’s answer had temporarily calmed him, but on reflection, Justin must have positioned himself in his life to gain access to his contacts.
Justin stopped.
When no answer was forthcoming, Brian sat. Justin didn’t need to say anything. He knew his lover as well as he knew himself. The guilt was all over Justin’s face.
“Apparently I was supposed to get information about the drug scene and the money which was being laundered through the clubs. Knowing Brian allowed me to move around freely, so I could do my job,” Justin said sadly. “I don’t remember anything about any of it.”
The knot in Brian’s stomach tightened.
“Why would they think you weren’t gay?” Jennifer asked slowly.
“That’s just it, Mom. They think I’ve just been gay for so long that I don’t remember being straight,” Justin sighed.
Jennifer stared at her son. She had never doubted Justin’s commitment to Brian, but if Justin had targeted Brian as a way into his case, was he in fact gay? “Justin, I don’t know what to say.”
“Mom, I need you to tell me you always knew I was gay,” Justin demanded and jumped to his feet.
Brian could see Justin was about to lose it. His stomach was churning. There would be time for answers, but now wasn’t it. “Jen, what was your reaction when Justin first told you he was gay?” He asked calmly.
“I was shocked,” she replied.
“But why were you shocked? Was it because Justin had always been interested in girls, and suddenly he wasn’t?” Brian probed deeper.
“He wasn’t interested in anyone, just art. Justin was never very sporty and was always very sensitive.”
Brian rolled his eyes. He wasn’t very sensitive and he’d always loved sport… but he was still gay.
“You never talked about girls to me, Jus,” she sighed.
“Did he have a Hustler or Penthouse collection?” Brian added. “Did he spend hours in the bathroom with straight magazines before he left school the first time?”
“Not that I know of,” Jennifer squinted as he wracked her brain for debaucherous memories. “Daphne may know more. The two of you were always very close,” she suggested.
“Did you ever catch us kissing or fooling around?” Justin asked.
“No,” Jen shook her head. “You were just friends, I think.”
“I’ll ask Daph,” Justin sighed. His mother had no idea.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Jennifer frowned.
“They think I’ve just been in my cover so long that I may need deprogramming so I’m not gay anymore.”
Jennifer looked at her son. Justin looked scared. “Did you tell them you love Brian?”
“I did, but they won’t believe me and this doctor has the power to put me in a hospital,” Justin complained. “They can’t do this to me.”
“They can,” Brian said soberly.
********
Nathan had been arguing with Brad for most of the afternoon. “You can’t just upturn his life this way. He and Brian are settled in a long term relationship.”
“My point exactly,” Brad frowned. “He’s involved with the person who he targeted his investigation around.”
“Brad, if he was monogamous, I would agree with you, but they aren’t. The both fuck around,” Nathan said.
Brad was surprised. “How do you know?”
“I’ve seen them. I went to Babylon with them when we first met,” Nathan smiled. At least Brad was listening to him now.
This warranted further investigation. “He needs to talk to me,” Brad grumbled. “I can’t make an accurate determination like this.”
“I don’t blame him for refusing to talk to you. You’re threatening to lock him up for treatment which will try and convert him into something that he doesn’t want to be. It would be easier for me if I was straight. Why don’t you order the same treatment for me?” Nathan’s voice was getting progressively louder.
“Don’t be ridiculous, it isn’t the same,” Brad scowled. “When he went undercover, he was a young, impressionable kid. He may very well have been gay, but the reports I read were not overly emotional when it came to Brian and now they are together as a couple. Look at this,” He dived for the folder. “Look at this part,” He read the paragraph out loud. “ I’m playing the lovesick teenager. It’s the most credible way in. The night before last, I followed Kinney to his house and he gave me the brush off. You would have been proud of me. I cried real tears. I know he was affected. Last night, I managed to snare him again. It won’t take me long.. Brad paused. “That doesn’t sound genuinely star struck to me. And, what about this one, a month later. They think my relationship with Brian is for real. I can’t tell them the truth. Try and get Mom off my back. He as much as says, it’s a façade.”
“He’s reporting to his uncle. It’s every bit as conceivable, he wouldn’t have told Grant the truth either. Notice how there are few to no details of how he was ingratiating himself to Brian?” Nathan pointed out.
“He was undercover. He didn’t need to report how he was achieving his goal,” Brad frowned. “What if I question the mother?”
“It’s a start. Is there anything in his transcripts from Quantico?” Nathan suggested.
“Nothing, he was a nun when he was there,” he sighed. “No men or women. Apparently he was consumed with studying and learning as much as possible. Let’s take a break,” Brad suggested.
Nathan grinned. “Why don’t we go to Babylon tonight and see for ourselves?”
Brad shook his head. “Too public… it isn’t worth the risk.”
“I wasn’t suggesting you suck me off in the back room. I just thought watching Justin may give you an insight into his sexuality,” Nate shrugged.
“Why are you so fixated on this case?”
“Because I know who I am and I would hate for someone to tell me I was something else,” Nathan frowned.
“I agree, but what if this kid wasn’t gay in the first place? Would it be fair to let him lead his life as a gay man, and with all the problems that come from it?”
“Justin doesn’t have any problems with being a gay man. He is openly gay and is unapologetic about it. I envy his position. I hate hiding. My work should be enough, so should yours,” Nathan growled. “I’m the best Assistant Director they have.”
Brad smiled. “Calm down. I know you are. It shouldn’t matter, but it does.”
“It wasn’t a problem when Grant sent him in to trade his ass for information on a case,” Nathan scowled. “Hypothetically, if Justin was straight at the time, which I don’t think, he ever was… Why is it acceptable for Brian, as a suspect, to be bending our agent over every night so the agent can gather evidence, but unacceptable if the agent enjoys it?”
“If you’re undercover, the stigma doesn’t stick,” Brad sighed.
“That’s just hypocrisy in its most insulting form!” Nathan exclaimed. He grabbed his phone. “It’s Nate. If I want to bring someone with me, is there room for two observers in your private lounge tonight?” Nathan smiled. “We’ll be there at ten.”
“What are you doing? Why are you dragging us out on a limb for this kid?” Brad shook his head.
Nathan frowned. “Because everyone deserves to be free…even us.”
********
Daphne listened to Justin’s problem in silence. She noticed Brian was stone faced and was clearly affected. “When I talk to this shrink, what do you want me to tell him?”
Brian frowned. “I have a few questions, do you mind?”
This was the first time Brian had spoken since Jennifer left and Daphne arrived. Justin was more than worried about his lover. The more this topic was discussed, the quieter Brian became.
“Were you surprised when Justin told you he was gay?” Brian asked.
“No, why?
“You tell me,” Brian replied, coldly.
“He was in love with you from the first moment he saw you,” she smiled. “The first thing he told me was he’d just seen the face of god and his name was Brian Kinney.”
Brian felt his heart leap, but his mask remained in place. “How do you know he meant it and it wasn’t part of his cover?”
“I’ve known Justin all his life. He’d never been interested in anyone before, but from the first night you took him home and fucked him, he was yours,” she grinned. “This is all bullshit. If they’re saying you were one thing before the bashing and something else after, then they’re wrong. I should know,” she looked at Justin. “You were the one who took my virginity and that was before the bashing.” Daphne’s mind moved back in time to that afternoon. If Justin was straight, there would have been more urgency in him. She’d fucked plenty of guys since and sex with Justin was loving and gentle, but with no real passion. Being with a straight guy was very different to the time she spent with her friend.
“I remember,” Justin smiled. He mentally compared being with Daphne to the other night when he was fucking Brian. He loved Daphne, she was his best friend and it was nice enough. The sensations were there, but without the hunger, without the need. Every time with Brian blew his mind and made his body ache for more. “Will you talk to the shrink for me?”
Daphne smiled. “Sure.”
Justin jumped up and hugged his friend. “Thanks, Daph.”
The phone rang and Brian walked away to talk.
“I mean it, I’ll help all I can,” she smiled. “Brian looks pretty freaked.”
“He isn’t talking and I know I’ve hurt him,” Justin said, sadly. “I’m afraid they’ll take me away from him. I love him so much, Daph.”
Daphne hugged her friend tighter. “I know you do.” She patted his back, lovingly. “It will be okay, you’ll make them all understand, including Brian. He loves you, I know he does.”
Brian watched from the other side of the room and could see Justin was upset. He wasn’t too happy with the situation either. Nate was bringing the shrink to Babylon later and Brian wondered if he should tell his lover or just surprise him… and let the chips fall where they may. As much as he loved Justin, Brian didn’t want a single doubt to cloud the rest of their lives. If he and Justin were together, he wanted to be sure Justin was where he wanted to be. Brian had never loved anyone before. He was afraid to hope he could trust in their love. When Justin was in his arms, he had no qualms, but logic was telling him the FBI had a reasonable doubt and he wondered if he should have too.
********
Nathan smiled as Security escorted them to Brian’s private lounge area. It was only ten o’clock and the room was partially empty. There was no sign of either Brian or Justin. When a young, scantily clad young man offered them a drink, he informed them he knew they were Brian’s guests and his boss was expected sometime before eleven.
Brad declined any alcohol and ordered a club soda. He was clearly uncomfortable in an environment of this nature. Even though it was early, there were copious amounts of semi naked men piling into the club below them. The gay scene had never interested him. His career demanded he was always discreet. In fact, at twenty nine, Brad’s experience was very limited. He’d hooked up with Nathan, three years before, and because they both had a lot to lose if their sexuality was exposed; it had very convenient for both of them.
“Should you be drinking tonight?” Brad asked, concerned.
“Probably not, but for what I have in mind, I need to relax,” Nathan smiled.
Brad rolled his eyes. Since he’d arrived, something was different about Nathan. They’d had dinner together and sucked each other off, the night before Nate left to conduct this enquiry. It was nice, it always was, but since he’d arrived here, Nathan had been very professional and he had the feeling sex was not an option. Nathan seemed distant and withdrawn for anything personal. “What time will Taylor be here?”
“Between ten and eleven,” he smiled. “Brian mentioned a friend of Justin’s, Daphne, would be coming with them.”
“Daphne?”
“She went to St James Academy with Justin.”
Brad smiled. He would be happy to speak to someone who knew Justin before he lost his memory. “I want to have a conversation with the mother too, before I complete my report. She will have an invaluable amount of information on her son.” He found women felt less threatened by questioning and on the whole, were very intuitive about the men in their lives.
Nathan nodded and finished his second drink. He was starting to feel more relaxed. It was a gamble bringing Brad here, but at this point, he was afraid Brad had already made up his mind.
“Why are you so invested in this?” Brad asked.
“I told you why,” Nathan said abruptly. “I think he and Brian really have something together.”
“Perhaps,” Brad shrugged. “I read the file on Kinney. He didn’t strike me as the relationship kind.”
“He isn’t, except when it comes to Justin,” Nate smiled.
Brad shifted uncomfortably in his seat as two men across from them began to thoroughly devour each other’s lips. He’d never placed himself in a situation like this before and was suitably surprised at the couple’s disregard for anyone else in the room. “Why are we meeting Taylor here? This matter would be better addressed in a work environment,” Brad sighed.
“On the contrary,” Nathan shook his head. “This is their life. He felt his cock harden in response. He noticed a small, dark woman enter the lounge with Justin. “There he is.”
As soon as Justin saw Nathan and Brad, he knew Brian was responsible for this. Brian had disappeared to his office as soon as they arrived, no wonder. They hadn’t had a chance to talk yet, but Justin was worried what Brian was thinking. Brian must hate him. How could his lover not have doubts? They needed to get the FBI out of their lives once and for all, and then he could try and repair the damage this had caused. It was best to finish this tonight. If he had to prove who he was, it was preferable to do it in a place where he was comfortable. He nudged Daphne and nodded in Brad’s direction. “That’s the shrink.”
“Why is he making your life difficult? He looks gay to me,” she laughed.
Justin looked at Brad again. He hadn’t noticed before, but Daph was right. Justin smiled.
Brian sat watching on the closed circuit TV in his office. He couldn’t get past the niggling in the pit of his stomach as he picked up the phone. “Troy, the blond man’s name is Nathan. Could you discreetly ask him to join me?” He watched the man whisper in Nathan’s ear and a few minutes later, Nate was entering his office. Brian looked up. ”Hey.”
Nathan could see Brian was stressed. “You didn’t tell him?”
Brian shook his head.
Nathan walked to the other side of the desk and saw the TV screens. Brad was talking to Daphne while Justin was standing at the bar. “I hope this works,” he sighed.
Brian didn’t speak, his stomach was churning. When he felt Nate slip his arm around his shoulders, Brian didn’t react, instead he continued to stare at the screen.
Nathan rubbed Brian’s shoulders, understanding how upsetting this was for him. He could see Daphne was very animated and Brad was nodding. He watched Brad stand up and walk over to Justin at the bar. Without sound, it was difficult to gauge what was going on. “Do you think she was able to convince him?”
“If anyone could, it would be Daph,” Brian sighed. “She’s seen him fuck both sides.”
“Pardon?”
“Justin fucked her before they graduated.”
“He what?” Nathan gasped. “I thought you were kidding.”
Brian smirked. “She wanted someone she trusted for her first time and they are friends. Justin did her a favor.”
“Was it only the once?” Nathan asked cautiously.
Brian laughed. “Yes and from all reports, the earth didn’t move for either of them. When is the doctor’s report due?”
“He wants to talk to Jennifer, but probably some time tomorrow.”
“Then what?”
“Justin will go back to Quantico for two months for a refresher and then he’ll be reassigned.”
Brian stared at Nathan. “That’s if it goes well?” he gasped. “What if it goes badly?”
“Then, he’ll be hospitalized indefinitely.”
“You mean until he’s straight,” Brian whispered and the knot in his stomach tightened.
Nate shrugged. “I can make a recommendation, but Brad’s report will carry a lot of weight.”
“Why is he so sure Justin isn’t gay?”
“Brad has been gay all his life and all his life he’s hidden it. He knows how difficult it is being gay and doesn’t think Justin should endure it if he isn’t,” Nate sighed.
“I don’t get it,” Brian shook his head. “I’ve never had any problems. It’s no one’s fucking business who I fuck and if I’m not sucking their dick, they can fuck off.”
“That may work for you, but it doesn’t work for all of us,” Nate sighed.
“It would if you just stopped seeking others approval. Who and how you fuck has nothing to do with how you do your job, or the kind of friend you are, or the sort of man you are. It has nothing to do with who you are at all… it’s just what you do.”
Nathan admired Brian’s courage. “You work for yourself.”
“I haven’t always,” Brian frowned. “If you are the best, they won’t care where you put your dick.” He looked at the TV again and noticed Justin and Brad were no longer at the bar. He scanned the rest of the club and picked up the phone. “David, has Mr. Taylor left the club?” Brian listened intently. ”Thanks.” Brian put the phone down. “He left with your shrink.”